Whine 11 - What's the address of your emergency?

It's the incredible, unforgettable, multi-dimensional ME!

2012-02-12T22:04:00.000-08:00

You may remember the post I wrote about my amazingly thoughtful sister and her unique Christmas gift to help me combat the blues. If you don't, you can read about it here. Or, you can scroll down and read it because it's literally like 2 posts away. Don't worry if you don't want to do either (I don't blame you), I'll give a little run down before I begin the second part.

Depression sucks. Seriously. I actually think that it literally sucks my will to live sometimes. I happened to be confiding in my sister, just before Christmas, about how bad my depression had been and still is. I didn't expect anything from her, sometimes I just need to talk and she makes a phenomenal sounding board. Fast forward a couple of weeks to Christmas. I was anxious to open my present from her because she'd mentioned being excited to give it to me "if she could pull it off." Made me curious. What she gave me was one of the most (maybe the most) considerate, thoughtful, loving gifts I've ever received and may ever receive. A jar. Not just any jar, but a jar filled with paper folded stars of beautiful papers. With it, a note: "A jar of Love and Encouragement. Open one each week for a year."

I'm not sure how many I've opened so far, but we're not even two months away from Christmas and having opened them every time I've needed a pick me up rather than once a week, I'm certain I've opened waaay more than 8. Sad that I've needed so many, but I've been eternally grateful to have each of them in my times of need.

Now for the follow-up. You may learn a few things that surprise you, some things you never knew about me. Maybe you'll realize you don't know me as well as you think. I know I've certainly been reminded of several things I'd let myself forget. Here's the list of what I've opened so far:

You are so thoughtful and mindful of others. You're always trying to find ways to make others happy and more comfortable. Thanks for your example.

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Nelson Mandela

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we re here, we might as well dance!

"What you create doesn't have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don't let fear of failure discourage you." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I love that she is so good at cooking and thinks everything tastes better with food dye. -Scud (Who is my adorable nephew who makes purple scrambled eggs that only he will eat and sends me pictures of them, because like he said, I get it!)

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

This week, call me and let's find a time to go to dinner or lunch together. (Hey Haha, we totally need to do this still!)

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." -Judy Garland

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Look unto me in every thought. Doubt not. Fear not." -D&C 6:36

You are never afraid (or never appear afraid) to use your voice to speak and stand up for what you believe. Wow!

You are smart, witty and fun to talk to. Also, I'm always amazed by all you know because you pay attention! (How did I not learn that as a kid?)

You are one of the most generous people I know, and like Heavenly Father, a cheerful giver of good gifts.

"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." -Henry Ford

"Never give up on anyone. And that includes not giving up on yourself." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." -Lao Tzu. This week, I encourage you to let go. Let go of who you were. Let go of who you think you are. Trust yourself to live, to grow, to become who you can be. It will be beautiful.

All of this attention you've received as a dispatcher is only the outward evidence of the inward amazingness of you. You are smart, brave, attentive. You genuinely care about others. You are doing things right. You are so good on the inside. You deserve an award daily.

I love that she is so caring. -Scud

I love that you're spunky, that you tease others and you're such a good sport. You're just so much fun.

You can do this! You can do hard things! You're amazing!

"Happiness is the object and design of our existence, and will be the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it." -Joseph Smith

I love the way she loves everyone. -Kaitybean (my wonderful niece who is not only equally spacey as her mother, but a beautiful, kind and wonderful, miniature version of her.)

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt. Remember, you are in charge! -Kaitlyn (See, I told you!)

"I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me." Phillipians 4:13

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

I love that you are fiercely passionate. What you love, you love wholly. What you do, you do passionately. Bravo! (This one gets me into trouble. A lot.)

"Face troubles with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility." -Thomas S. Monson

"God loves broken things." -Jeffrey R. Holland Remembering this has literally changed my life. I know, in my bones, that God loves me in my deeply broken state. His most treasured gifts are a broken heart and a contrite spirit. His love and mercy are constant, powerful. He loves me. He loves you!

How blessed I am to have a sister, and that it is you! Please always remember how dearly I love you, all of you, and that you're deeply deserving of that love.

I saw a saying that describes our relationship perfectly. "My sister has the best sister in the world!" It's true... my sister's sister has the best sister in the whole world! (Did you follow that?)

Writing all of these out made me realize that my most wonderful gift didn't come in a glass jar filled with paper, but in Heavenly Father giving me the most creatively loving sister. Thank you Haha, for being you. And for loving me, just for being me.

...what a difference 6 months (give or take) makes...

2012-01-05T02:34:00.001-08:00

Check out the first picture, taken around Memorial Day 2011. These are by far the most beautiful, chubby baby faces in the whole world!

Next we have storytime with Grandpa on Christmas morning. I wish I'd gotten a better picture, of course it's my little guy who refuses to stay still. (Kenna if you got a picture of this and it's better than mine, can I have it please?)

No matter how much I tell them, "Stop GROWING!" they never listen.

Have you ever wished Love and Encouragement came in a bottle?

2012-01-04T05:59:00.001-08:00

Now it does!

I am convinced that Heavenly Father looked over the list of trials I would be called upon to face and in His infinite wisdom and mercy, saw fit to bless me with the kindest sister imaginable.

One of my favorite things about my sweet sister is her ability to give gifts that keep giving long after the holidays have been forgotten. Instead of giving what I think I want, she gives me what I need which ends up being what I really wanted.

For Christmas my sister gave me this jar filled with beautifully folded snippets of love and encouragement.

Here's what I've opened so far:

"You are so thoughtful and mindful of others. You're always trying to find ways to make others happy and more comfortable. Thanks for your example." -Haha

"I love the way she loves everyone." -Kaitybean

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Nelson Mandela

I know I'm supposed to wait and open one each week for a year, but I secretly want to open them all at once and just pull one out when I'm feeling down. The tricky part, beside living up to who they know I am, would be folding each paper back into its star-shaped beauty.

Check back for more love and encouragement throughout the year.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Bath time

2011-12-27T14:58:00.001-08:00

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Christmas is about the Christ

2011-12-21T20:25:00.000-08:00

In these precious moments we realize what we feel and know in our heart—that Christmas is really about the Christ.
Christmas and some of the cherished traditions of the season remind us that we, like the Wise Men of old, should seek the Christ and lay before Him the most precious of gifts: a broken heart and a contrite spirit. We should offer Him our love. We should give Him our willingness to take upon ourselves His name and walk in the path of discipleship. We should promise to remember Him always, to emulate His example, and to go about doing good. 1
We cannot offer Him the gift of perfection in all things because this is a gift beyond our capacity to give—at least for now. The Lord does not expect that we commit to move mountains. But He does require that we bring as gifts our best efforts to move ourselves, one foot in front of the other, walking in the ways He has prepared and taught.
And what are the Savior’s gifts to those who are willing to bring these gifts to Him?
This may be the most one-sided gift exchange in the history of the universe. The Savior’s gifts to us are breathtaking.
Let us begin with immortality. Because the Savior overcame death, all men and women—both the just and the unjust—will live forever. 2
Then, forgiveness—even though our sins and imperfections be as scarlet, they can become white as snow because of Him. 3
And finally, eternal life—the greatest gift of all. 4 Because of the Atonement of Christ, not only are we guaranteed an infinite quantity of life, but He offers the possibility of an unimaginable quality of life as well. 5
Some of His divine gifts are reserved for that glorious future day when we return to His presence.
But He extends many gifts and His grace to us every day. He promises to be with us, to come to us when we need comfort, 6 to lift us when we stumble, to carry us if needed, to mourn and rejoice with us. Every day He offers to take us by the hand and help transform ordinary life into extraordinary spiritual experiences.

Of Curtains, Contentment, and Christmas
By: President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
2011 First Presidency Christmas Devotional (2011)

Insight from a hooker...

2011-11-30T05:42:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately (and not-so lately) about self esteem and body image. It's terrible how closely and how often the two are linked in our society of unrealistic role models with their perfectly air-brushed everything.

This thinking has had me thinking this morning, of a line from a movie. My mom is always teasing me because I know nearly every line of every movie I watch by heart, basically the first time I've seen it. I think, while she would use it differently, that she's secretly jealous of my freakishly, amazing memory recall.

Here's the scene, pay close attention to the last line, it's the most important:

Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.

Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.

Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe.

-- IMDb Quotes: Pretty Woman (1990)

How true it is that we begin to believe what is said, and how sad that in my case (and I suspect a great many others' as well) I am usually the first and loudest proponent of my own "bad stuff."

Despite my husband's valiant efforts to convince my over and over of my beauty and self worth, I'm bombarded with "bad stuff" making it difficult to ignore.

Today, I'm going to make a goal to think and say more good stuff about myself.

I hope you'll do the same for yourself.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Random Truths

2011-11-20T01:21:00.000-08:00

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

Bad decisions make good stories.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work (and at home for me) when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

"Do not machine wash" or "Do not tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever!

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer, drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

I keep some phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

I would rather try to carry ten, over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring in my groceries.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

how many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

Is it just me or do high school kids get smaller and smaller each year?

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

Cookie Decorating 101

2011-11-19T02:10:00.000-08:00

Between this book I just bought:

And this mind-blowingly AMAZING tip:

I'm in the mood to make cookies!!

Hair Me Out

2011-11-11T00:23:00.000-08:00

I wish I could pull this off.

...my little football man...

2011-10-09T02:22:00.000-07:00

I've never seen a little boy so excited about sports (so young) in general, but he especially digs football. He claps as soon as it comes on TV and watches happily with his uncle and his daddy. Not counting Cars, it's probably his favorite thing to watch.

Last week he went with us to the high school homecoming game. Here he is with his daddy, ready to go.
I found his super cute "Just try and tackle me" shirt in St. George while we were there a few weeks ago, I couldn't resist.
He sat on the steps with his cousins. (I wish I'd gotten a picture of him with Spencer who doted on him the entire time.)
He clapped, pointed, oohed and aahed enthusiastically nearly the entire game.
The rest of these pictures are how I found him tonight (In the super soft, comfy jammies bought for him by Uncle Jared) at Grandma's house. He was excited to see me, but only so long as I didn't interfere with the game. When I paused it, he squealed and kept squealing until I let him watch the game again. (As you can see, he's still pointing enthusiastically)

I don't know about you, but to me, this looks like the very picture of relaxation.

I love this little man. I can't help but smile when I see how his face glows. For football. For Cars, (which is why we've watched it no less than 50 times in the last week). At the discovery of so many things, new to him. Even in the depths of depression which still haunt so many of my days and nights, I can't help but smile. I thank my Father in Heaven every single day for my joyful, football watching, miracle boy.

Housework - Gag!

2011-09-30T01:29:00.000-07:00

I was recently directed here from a comment thread on another blog, I read the post I'd been directed to; it's great, I highly recommend it. Then, I skimmed the side bar for anything of interest.

This popped out at me. Gag, is certainly one of the first reactions that comes to mind when I think of housework. That or cringe.

Then I conveniently think of something I need at the store, and while I'm at the store I decide we should go to Salt Lake and watch a movie or go to dinner. And I end up eating too much, including dessert. So when I get home, I'm a little fatter and my house is still dirty.

I don't know that I'll even go to the website she suggests in this post (if it still exists), but I really loved the suggestions she listed. Here they are for those of you who either don't want to go to the other site, or don't know how. (Don't be offended, I'm totally talking to my mom and she knows it!)

"You can't organize clutter; you have to get rid of it! In order to find peace in your home the clutter has to find a new place to reside.

Release your clutter. Spend just 15 minutes a day de-cluttering. When you bring home something new; get rid of something old."

Another thing she says is keep your kitchen sink clean ALL THE TIME. And it's amazing what a difference this one chore makes.

Her basic mantra is that we have to have routines/habits in place. If we don't, we can spend all day cleaning then the place just gets messy again immediately. But if we've developed routines/habits that we do almost automatically, we can keep the mess at bay.

Here is my daily schedule (to quote from an article I once wrote): think of it as B,B,C,D,F, which sounds like a poor report card but which stands for: Bed (make it), Bathroom (a quick swish and swipe while you're in there getting ready), Clutter (quick pick-up, especially working on the "hot spots" that gather stuff to them--I do this pretty much all day), Dishes (keeping the sink clean and empty), and Floors (sweep daily). There are many other chores we have to do of course (for example, she also talks about conquering Mount Washmore), but even if I do only these five things every day, I can keep the appearance of a tidy home and not panic if someone comes over unexpectedly.

Housework is a huge obstacle in my life, it's gotten to the point where I've quit even trying to stay afloat and just let myself sink below the surface. I'm hoping that this gem of a discovery will help me find a place to start.

... eat drink and be merry ...

2011-09-26T23:18:00.000-07:00

... for tomorrow I start the Weight Watchers online program!

This is yet another step in my journey toward a happier, healthier me.

A friend of the furry persuasion.

2011-09-26T20:45:00.001-07:00

I came back from my break to find that we had a new friend in dispatch. Wish I could keep him. He's super cute and (although also very high energy) very well behaved.

Look at that face!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Back on the wagon again!

2011-09-05T21:35:00.001-07:00

Confession...

Several months ago I made a couple of goals, kick the caffeine and run on the treadmill. I don't think I made it a week. Weak, right? I know.

I've decided (and this has been coming for quite a long time) that something drastic has got to change. In my experience, for anything drastic to change, I have to be held accountable, to myself at the very least. So, I'll be checking in here at least once a month, but hopefully more like once a week. I'll list how I've done on my goals and track the progress I'm making.

I've acquired a couple of things to help me on my way. First, I bought these...

from Strive Running Co. My dad found a jogging stroller for us at a killer price... $5, killer! And since Heavenly is in the academy he needs to be running more than the 10+ miles/week he's already been running, I've got myself a running partner.

One of my co-workers made the decision to quit drinking soda pop starting today and I decided that'd be a great time for me to do the same. He bought us these...

Today I'm getting back on the wagon.

9 tips for surviving rough times with a smile

2011-08-27T17:51:00.000-07:00

I found this article here. I loved this advice, I hope it helps you too.

Question:

How do people stay positive when things are really rough? I know we can’t be the only family struggling to keep our heads above water. Could you give us any tips for getting through the discouragement? How can we stay happy in the face of huge setbacks and problems?

Answer:

I’m so glad you asked this question because you are definitely not alone. Most families are experiencing some fear and stress about their situations right now.

Here are nine tips for surviving rough times with a smile.

1. Understand that even if you can't control outside circumstances, you can decide how you want to experience them. Since negativity will get you nowhere, choose a positive attitude even if it’s ridiculously optimistic. Refuse to dwell in fear.

Consciously choose to trust that you will make it through and gain strength and wisdom from this experience. Every situation makes you a better person and this one will serve you in some way. Choose to believe good things are coming. They might be – you don’t know what’s around the next corner and it’s more enjoyable to expect the best than the worst.

2. Remember this won’t last forever. Life is cyclical and you will always have your ups and downs. Life is a beautiful mix of blessings and challenges. Whether things are good or bad, it won’t last forever. Decide to accept the impermanent nature of life. Those who expect it to always be easy will always be disappointed. Try to embrace the difficult times as a perfect and inevitable part of your journey.

3. Hang out with positive people. Avoid negative people who wallow in their stories of woe. Misery loves company but it doesn’t have to be yours. Choose to associate with people who think positive. Make friends with people who are problem solvers and motivated to create good things in their lives. It will rub off on you.

4. Read encouraging, uplifting books and listen to upbeat, happy music. Choose books that give you a fresh perspective on life and music that makes you want to dance. A library card and listening to the radio are both free. The personal development author and speaker Og Mandino wrote about the night his life fell apart. He thought about killing himself but decided to go to the library instead. He read every book he could find on positive thinking and it changed his life. It could change yours.

5. Start a gratitude journal. Focus on what you do have. Enjoy even the smallest of blessings and treasure every simple happy moment. Take time each day to write down five things you are grateful for. You’ll be amazed at how blessed you really are.

6. Work on your spirituality. Research shows that those who practice faith and maintain a relationship with God live longer and more satisfying lives. Turn your worries over to a higher power and practice faith.

7. Laugh as much as possible. Laugh together as a family. Watch funny movies, read joke books and keep your sense of humor alive. Watch "Wipeout" or "America's Funniest Home Videos." For some reason watching other people fail really cheers you up. When we were struggling we often laughed about just how bad off we were. We had nothing more to lose so we just had to laugh at it.

8. Reach out to others who are worse off than you. Get your focus off your own problems. Perform acts of service. Find a place to volunteer. Service will change your perspective. You will feel better right away.

9. Get some help. A little professional help could make a huge difference especially if you are feeling depressed. You are in charge of your destiny so get some help to change the course of your life. There are many life coaches, counselors and therapists in your area to call on.

"A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change. Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us." - Earl Nightingale

Kimberly Giles is the founder and president of LDS Life Coaching and www.claritypointcoaching.com. She is a sought after life coach who has a popular radio show LIFEadvice on Utah's AM 1430 Saturday Mornings at 8 a.m. MST

Combatting ignorance and insensitivity with humor...

2011-06-22T00:24:00.000-07:00

When Heavenly and I got married we were plagued with questions about when we would start a family. I mean from the very beginning!

My favorite was my father-in-law, bless his meddling heart... every time we visited (which in the beginning was quite frequently) he would ask me "Are you trying to get pregnant yet? Are you trying yet?" I honestly don't know how I responded at first, all I can remember is blushing. I don't embarrass easily, anyone who knows me can attest to that. Seriously, I think your father-in-law poking his nose into your sex life is a little much, even for me!

Finally, after his asking sent me over the edge, this was my response:

"Every day, twice a day!" Guess who blushed that time, and has NEVER asked again?!

Just in case you didn't know, asking a couple (even if they're not struggling with infertility) when they're planning to have children (planning to have children... pshh, don't make me laugh!!) or why they don't have any children yet or any other derivative of "Are you trying to get pregnant," IS PRYING INTO THEIR SEX LIFE!! Get. A. Clue!

I don't walk up to couples with several children and say, "Man, you guys must f*** like rabbits!" First of all, it's none of my business. Secondly it's just inappropriate!

Why is it that everyone reading this post knows how inappropriate that last sentence was, but 98% of those people who are offended will be shocked that I think asking a couple when they're planning to get pregnant is equally inappropriate? Perhaps if I added a four-letter word to any of my examples of are-you-trying questions, everyone would recognize how tactless they really are.

My mom always tells me I'm a mixture of spirituality and spunky irreverence, and somehow it works. So, here's my attempt at restoring balance by ending this mostly irreverent post on a spiritual note...

I found the following quote, regarding birth control, from the LDS Church Handbook very fitting in this instance. You can find it here.

"It is the privilege of married couples who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for the spirit children of God, whom they are then responsible to nurture and rear. The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter.

Married couples should also understand that sexual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a way of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife.

Recognize that sex, for couples struggling with infertility, becomes much more chore/job-like, a "have to" rather than a "want to." Romance and sexual pleasure take a back seat to things like basal body temperatures, ovulation charts and properly timed/scheduled intercourse to name only a few.

Check out http://www.ldsinfertility.org/ for facts and suggestions of ways you can support your friends and members of your family who may be struggling to cope with infertility and/or sterility.

Pray. Pray for your friend or family member. And, pray for yourself so that you can be guided to be, to say, and to do those things that most effectively build your relationship with those you love who are dealing with such a hard trial. I know you will be inspired. I have seen it work many times.

Be careful about the comments you make.
1. Acknowledging that you don't know what to say or how to say it can be most effective. Followed by an "I really want you to know that I care about you. I sometimes just don't know what to say. What can I do that will be helpful to you?"

2. Focus on the person you are talking to. We often bring up stories about someone else or about an experience we had, simply because it is what we are familiar with and because it fills the conversation.

3. Be simple. Use only a few words. Write them down and review them before the conversation. If you open the door, your friend will talk if they feel comfortable.

4. Making light of or joking about infertility can be offensive. Some couples joke about their situations, but let them be the ones to initiate that type of conversation.

Life is not all about conceiving, giving birth, and raising children. Have conversations around infertile couples that are related to things other than families. It is hard to be in an environment where everyone is talking about breast-feeding and you have no way of relating. We would probably all benefit from conversing about more varied topics.

Hurtful Headlines...

2011-06-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

Jay Leno...

...it's been a few weeks, I wanted to give this some time to see if your un-funny headline really bothers me as badly as it originally did. The fact that I'm coming back to this post tells me it does.

While watching "Headlines" on The Late Show with Jay Leno with my co-workers I was appalled to hear an infertility related joke. (Insert second thoughts about the off-color jokes I think are humorous and the times I've laughed at the expense of someone else's misfortunes ____________ <---here.) I should be more thick skinned, I think I used to be, but it feels like I hear snide comments and jokes about infertility and sterility at every turn. Mostly from people who know what I've gone through and SHOULD know better. It makes me wonder why someone's inability to conceive is such a laughing matter. The truth is, I'm sensitive. Still.

So without further ado, here's the offensive Headline that's had me stewing for weeks:

"Children not likely to inherit infertility"

--This, of course, resulted in raucous laughter from my co-workers who I'm sure meant no offense and likely had no idea how hurtful this was to me.

Even my initial reaction was only annoyance that anyone could think that infertility is not hereditary. Then it hit me, BAM like lightning... the reason it got such a reaction had nothing to do with infertility's likelihood to be passed to offspring. And everything to do with the likelihood that there will be NO children in the event of infertility.

When I mentioned it to my mom she tried to get me to calm down by pointing out that it was 'worded funny and that's what makes it comical.' I love my dear mother, she's continually trying to get me to relax and to not take things so personally. Poor thing, it's a full time job! And probably a hopeless effort at that.

The many faces of my little man...

2011-05-31T17:01:00.000-07:00

Sleepy conversations with Heavenly...

2011-05-15T04:23:00.001-07:00

Heavenly has told me stories about his youngest brother talking in his sleep when they were young. He and his closest brother, Studly, asked questions and laughed at his nonsensical answers.

Well... this morning I woke up to the sound of Heavenly laughing.

Me: "What's so funny?"

Heavenly: "The train."

Me: (Giggling to myself because I'm currently addicted to an app called 'Rail Rush' and wonder if I'm the reason he's dreaming of trains.) "What's so funny about the train?"

Heavenly: "It does go back that far."

Me: "How far back does it go?"

Heavenly: "14... er, 16."

Me: "Who are you talking to?"

(no response)

Me: "Who are you talking to?"

Heavenly (now half awake): "Myself apparently."

Ha ha ha ha ha! Now Heavenly can no longer tell stories of teasing his brother for his dreamy conversations.
He rarely remembers anything he does while he's asleep. I got a black eye just after we were married from a wildly swinging elbow. He had no recollection of hitting me, waking up and telling me he was sorry, or kissing me better. But I'll be sure he remembers this!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A project with a smile...

2011-04-27T04:50:00.001-07:00

While at my cousin's house a couple of weeks ago I saw, and fell in love with this adorable craft...

... and so I am making this my (our) project. I've started a list of what makes our sweet family smile.

Here are just a few:

Open mouth (Little Houston) kisses
Playdates with Harley
Sunshine
Super hero shirts
Baxter (Grandpa's poodle)
Red Robin... Yum!
The smell of rain
Binkies
Uncle Jared (Little Houston absolutely adores his Uncle Jared and I think the feeling's mutual)
Temples
Houston, TX

I'm excited for this project that is all about focusing on blessings and happy things that surround and influence us.

So, I want to know... What makes you (and/or your family) smile?

Leave a comment. Let me know.

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The Gospel is the good news!

2011-04-24T20:27:00.000-07:00

Today is Easter Sunday and while I worked last night and spent my morning sleeping rather than attending church with my family, I have been pondering this holiday season for weeks.

Tonight my goal is to finish reading "Behold The Man" the last book in a series called The Kingdom and the Crown, by Gerald Lund. This will be my third or perhaps even my fourth time through the series which follows the lives of a fictitious family in Israel who become followers of Christ and chronicles the life and ministry of our Savior during in His final days.

You may be asking yourself why I need to set a goal to finish a book from a series I've read so many times. Or maybe you would ask that, if you knew that it's been in my work locker for over a month. This time through I think that focusing on the crucifixion and death of the Savior has caused me to be apprehensive and left me unable to read those agonizing chapters.

Judas' betrayal of the Savior, after Gethsemane (Matt 26:48-49) which led Him to be tried, unjustly by the Great Sanhedrin before being delivered into the hands of the Romans. The Sanhedrin found him guilty of blasphemy, knowing the Romans would never put him to death for it, they told Pilate He was guilty of treason, stirring up contentions among His followers which would surely lead to conflict. Pilate, who found "no fault in this man," gave in to the throng of people who had gathered at the Antonia Fortress crying "Crucify him, crucify him." Roman soldiers mocked Him and whipped Him, they fashioned a crown of thorns and placed it cruelly on His head. Christ was then raised upon a cross by stakes driven through His feet and hands. The small notch of wood was of little comfort, placed so that sitting took pressure from a prisoner's feet, but inflicted tremendous pressure and pain on the chest. In His agony He cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli lama sabachthani? that is to say, 'My god, my god, why hast thou forsaken me?' (Matt 27:46) And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost. (Luke 23:46)

That was the bad news.

In Gethsemane, Christ performed the initial act of His atoning sacrifice. He prayed to The Father, taking upon himself the sins and sufferings of the World. The pain was so great it caused Him, even the son of God, to sweat "as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground." (Luke 22:40-44)

(John 20:1-2,11-18) On the third day after Christ's crucifixion, He appeared to Mary Magdalene when she sought Him at the tomb where they had laid Him. "Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my bretheren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God." In an upper room in Jerusalum, He appeared to His disciples. They saw and felt the marks on His body. (Luke 24:39) He said to them, "Behold my hands and my feet, that it is myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have."

At a garden called Gethsemane He offered Himself as a sacrifice for sin and sorrow. He suffered pain which caused Him to bleed from every pore. Most importantly, with that suffering, He broke the bonds of sin and sorrow.

On a hill called Calvary at a place called Golgotha, He laid down His life. But most importantly, on the third day, He took it up again, to bring to pass the resurrection of the dead. His resurrection broke the bonds of death. He lives. He lives so that we may live again.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16) And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day. (John 6:40)

And this, this is the good news!

more on my religion HERE

Goals!

2011-04-19T05:27:00.001-07:00

Run on the treadmill 4-5 times each week.

Stop drinking caffeine and hopefully soda pop altogether.

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Writer's block

2011-04-05T22:08:00.000-07:00

This is my phenomenal sister, whom I affectionately call Haha!

And this is the certificate she got for winning a national poetry contest.
And now maybe you know why I have just a bit of writer's block. How do you compete with such incredible talent?

The truth is: You don't!

I learned long ago that it was no good to compare myself to her. It's not that I think I can never measure up to her. (although literarily speaking... I'll never compare! Is literarily even a word? Oh well, it is now!)

We're just different. Wonderfully, beautifully, uniquely different.

I was once asked during an interview with a member of my bishopric which one of us is the better singer. I said, without a moment's hesitation: "We both are. We have completely different vocal ranges. She's a much better soprano, and I'm a much better alto."

(For having writer's block I'm rather wordy!)

Since she told me about her award I've been dying to write something about it. Something to tell you (my half dozen or so readers... if there are even that many) how wonderful she is. I'm always dying for others to know just how incredible she is, and for her to know how insanely lucky I am to be related to her. The words just never seem to be enough. (Especially now that I'm writing these lackluster words about a soon-to-be-published author!) But however inadequate it may be, I'd rather write it poorly than not tell her at all.

Congratulations to my beautiful, wonderful, spacey, terrific, brilliant, sensational sister! I'm so honored to be your sister. And even more blessed to have you as my friend.

I wanna getaway!

2011-03-26T23:37:00.000-07:00

Key music, "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz...

I want to get away,

I want to fly away

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Why do I want to get away, do you ask? Sigh. It's March in Utah. What does that mean? Snow. Not the kind of storm that causes me to have to make 3 attempts to get into my snowy driveway, or hope for the love of everything holy that the other drivers sharing the roadway with me remember how to drive in the snow because it's been a few days, kind of storms. But still, there's nothing worse than waking up on the 3rd day of spring and finding this:

Okay, maybe I'm being dramatic. A little. It's been nearly a week since the official first day of Spring. I'm sitting at my computer and finding myself longing for a getaway. For the beach. For this:

Sigh, and this:

Please do not adjust your computer...

2011-03-20T15:42:00.001-07:00

I love food coloring! Not just for St. Patrick's Day, but anytime. St. Patty's is just a day when I don't have to decide which color to choose.

For St. Patrick's Day I made GREEN velvet cake from scratch, yum!!

Then I found hot pink bread at Maceys and had to buy it.

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Melt my heart!

2011-03-20T14:21:00.001-07:00

Baby Houston has a sweet new expression...

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I could use a good fart joke today...

2011-02-25T06:52:00.001-08:00

and this one is my favorite!

Be ye therefore helpful

2011-01-29T06:56:00.000-08:00

In my own experience with infertility and loss, I have been buoyed up by the compassion of those around me who knew little more than the fact that I seemed "down." However, I have heard hurtful, insensitive words come from those who were privy to more intimate details.

I read a great post here about helping vs. hurtful hands. I have a very specific idea of who should read this, unfortunately I have no control over who actually will. And even if they do, they'll likely not understand it's meant for them. And if they do know I'm referring to them, they still won't acknowledge they have reason to read it. Nevertheless, I hope, whoever you are, this will help you to understand the necessity for genuine, caring concern and sensitivity when dealing with the feelings and healing of others.

If you know someone who has experienced miscarriage or loss of any kind, you must be sensitive to their needs. Don't know how? Here are a few things I've found helpful:

Independence --Let your loved one dictate the terms of their own grief process, including the type of support they receive and the amount of details they share and its duration. Remember loss is experienced differently by all. No one person can or should decide for others how long it will take or how it should be expressed. Because your grief is best eased by surrounding yourself with family who know exactly what you've experienced, does not make it so for everyone. All loss is personal, miscarriage and pregnancy loss is especially personal and so too are the emotions which accompany such a loss.

Prayer --One of the best and most supportive ways to love your friend or family member through this trying time, is through prayer. Your loved one may be reluctant to confide the intimate and painful details, but our Heavenly Father knows each one of their needs, often better than even they can know. Who better to petition for assistance than one who has descended below all things, who suffered and understands their physical and emotional stings so perfectly? Oft times as I pray a friend or loved one enters my thoughts and I will ask that our Heavenly Father will bless them and help them with whatever needs they might have. I am confident that His omniscience is sufficient to know them just as certainly as I know He knows me.

Time --Many times all that is needed, that you can give, is time. In my own experience I've found this to be the most difficult for some. Grief is messy and uncomfortable, someone else's pain can at times seem burdensome and unbearable. No matter how long it lasts, you should try to be understanding. I was lucky enough to have a neighbor tell me when I was pregnant that having a baby minimizes but does not take the pain completely away. Some have said to me "You have a baby now, isn't it time to get over that already?" I'm not! I spent the anniversary of my most recent miscarriage laying in bed snuggling my sweet 1 month old baby and sobbing. Those emotions may have been compounded by the fact that I couldn't ignore it and let it quietly pass me by as I'd intended. Instead we received a message early that morning that our friend would be going to the hospital to have her baby. I'm grateful for my sweet husband who held me and cared for that sweet baby in moments when I was too paralyzed by my own grief. I'm getting there, and I'll make it... but on my own terms.

Be patient and love us through it.

Hand me down memories

2011-01-14T15:05:00.001-08:00

I found these warm jammies in a box of 3-6 month hand me downs yesterday. It seems like only yesterday I snuggled a sweet Coco in my arms as he wore them. Then I blinked.

Last night Houston wore those same snuggly jammies to bed.

Tonight that tiny Coco will bound through Grandma's door as quickly as his 4 year old body can carry him.

Playing catch up with Houston

2011-01-14T15:00:00.000-08:00

I'm attempting to make up for over 5 months worth of pictures in one post. It won't happen. But here are the first couple of weeks, and one to show the difference.

Miracle 1: Baby Houston was born May 05, 2010, Cinco de Mayo and Great-grandpa Fredrickson's birthday.

After nearly a decade and a half of being told by doctors, experts in their respective fields, telling me: "Your body won't be able to support a baby" or "You'll never have children," more than 2 years of trying (a hiccup compared to that of others' infertility experience, really) and the agonizing loss of 4 precious souls... I held proof in my arms that doctors don't know everything and miracles do happen.

Grandma Holland held him for the first time. Beautiful. Perfect. The phlebotemist pricked his tiny heel as she held him for a glucose level. It was supposed to be 40 at the lowest. Instead, 14. She rushed for the nurse, they rushed him out, I barely got to say goodbye.

Daddy followed them to the nursery and stayed with him all day. Daddy and Grandpa Holland gave him a blessing. They gave him glucose through an IV to try to get his sugar levels up. Houston kept forgetting to breathe on his own and with a decreasing temperature they contemplated incubation. At 7, when they typically kick parents out for shift change meeting, they decided to try one thing first. They brought him to my room. I held him for the second time in his short little life, skin on skin. After the fastest 30 minutes of my life, a nurse came to my room and took him back to the nursery. Miracle 2: He never stopped breathing again and his temperature went up and stayed up.
First in the left hand, then in the right, nurses were running out of places to put his IV. Friday, 3 days old: Heavenly decided (at my urging) to go to work for the day. After all, we were both well taken care of and stuck there. I'd call him if anything changed. I went to the nursery for the first morning feeding. His IV had leaked once again and they informed me they may need to put one in his precious little head. I turned to see a man in an Airmed flight suit and knew instantly my little one was in capable hands. Still, I was alone. Surrounded by hospital staff. But all alone. I glanced over my shoulder and saw the most beautiful sight, my mom. He turned him this way and that, trying to get a better angle with which to place the IV into his tiny vein. Houston wailed and cried. The flight nurse finished with the IV and secured it with tape. He picked him up, I thought to hand him to me; instead he held him to his chest, patted his back and kissed his tiny forehead, "Let Grandpa love you better," he said. I'm sure this was done more for his own benefit than for Houston's.

After 6 days in the intermediate nursery, the ankle monitor was off, we were going home. Three of us. Finally.
Home at last!! Babies are like kittens, it takes them a few weeks before their eyes really stay open.
He fit sideways in the basinette. Sideways! So tiny.
Here's the "newborn" onesie his Aunt Karen bought for him. As you can see it's a little loose. I miss those scrawny little legs. And check out that binky!!
He finally fit into it at 3 months. And just last Sunday, he wore it again. He's 8 months old now and squeazable, chubby legs have replaced those loose, elephant-skinned, scrawny ones.
This still leaves me 5 months behind. Be patient, I'll get there. Someday.

Counting my blessings in pictures...

2010-12-05T18:33:00.000-08:00

Here are a few of our most recent family pictures from September 2010.

I've been struggling since Houston was born with postpartum depression. (more on that later) This post is a look at the blessings in my life. Today is a good day.

My sweet Heavenly watches Houston all night while I work and then on his days off he spends most of the day watching him so I can sleep. I'm the luckiest girl because He never complains, he doesn't think it's anything special. He doesn't realize that not all husbands are as willing to do their job as he is.

I wanted to remind myself of just how lucky I am to be the mommy of this sweet little miracle. (I promise, not even PPD could make me forget that!) I have a loving, hard working husband who loves me unconditionally. He is far better to me than I am to him. But I'm coming to realize that he is everything that I deserve as a beloved daughter of my Heavenly Father who sent them both to me.

I'm a little disappointed that Heavenly wasn't looking right at the camera for this shot since Houston and I look so dang cute.

I was so proud of this sweet little boy, he was such a happy, helpful little guy for all of our pictures.

Right now

2010-11-23T15:17:00.000-08:00

I am:

Waiting in my car for Heavenly to be off work. Listening to Baby Houston wiggle and squeal from his car seat.

Listening to "Mrs. Robinson" by the Simon and Garfunkel.

Feeling my car being tossed around with each gust of wind.

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Red velvet cake pops!

2010-10-12T11:34:00.001-07:00

My first attempt at making cake pops, yumm! They're pretty simple and pretty yummy. I've been eyeing them on Bakerella's website for months. You can find the instructions at www.bakerella.com along with lots of other recipes and ideas.

I decided to wash my hands and dig in.

That was a little messy. Next time I'll consider using the back side of a spoon. But then I won't have the fun of licking off my fingers.

Aren't they cute?

I can't wait to get her new Cake Pops book!!

Proofreader needed

2010-10-02T03:30:00.000-07:00

Poor spelling is one of my biggest pet peeves. I will use a completely different word if I'm not perfectly sure how the one I'm thinking of is spelled. I point out typos in newspapers. I use a red pen and correct typos found in books. (My own copies, not the library's or my brother's, of course. That would just be wrong.)

In case you didn't know, the word "looser" refers to something that is not taut or tight, not fastened, ie. more loose. It is NOT the same, nor is it interchangeable with the word "loser" which is, in fact, a term for a person, team or nation who is defeated or slang for a misfit. After the tenth time (I doubt it even takes 10) of reading the word "looser" when "loser" is intended, I basically want to tear my hair out and scream at the author. At the very least I want to offer my editing services pro bono.

Being the spelling Nazi that I am, here are a couple of shirts I found highly entertaining. You can find these shirts and more by clicking here.

This one is spelled wrong intentionally, and so it's funny.

This one, is not. There are two reasons I can never wear this T-shirt.
First of all, I am rude. Secondly, your insignificant... what? Seriously, what?
Some of you may not even know there's a problem with the following t-shirt. But it's there. And it makes me crazy!
Do you know what else probably annoys his wife? The fact that he doesn't know the difference between THEN and THAN!

No misspellings, I just really like this one.

Houston, we have a problem!

2010-09-07T03:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, so we don't have a problem, but we'd certainly appreciate your help. We entered our cute little guy into a beautiful baby contest. You can go here to cast your vote; one vote per email address per 24 hour period. You can find him by typing "Houston" in the search box.

We think he's pretty cute, we hope you do too.

Live the dream!

2010-04-30T06:35:00.001-07:00

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My house... My touch

2010-04-13T17:31:00.001-07:00

I realized that I've never posted pictures of the inside of my house. As it is, the pictures I'm posting are only a small sampling of the rooms in my house. Just the rooms I've had painted and decorated so far. The only room that's been painted you won't see here is our bedroom, #1 it currently looks more like a storage room since we've temporarily moved the bed downstairs, and #2 I just couldn't take a picture to do it justice.

I am lucky to have a daddy who used to paint professionally, a brother whose ex-wife made him paint and re-paint according to her current mood, a mom who sold Home Interior for years and still loves to decorate, and a husband who spoils me rotten because I get to make all decorating decisions. Really they all spoil me rotten.

(the front room before-ish...notice what used to be the strange red square?)

Front-room after

Front room close-up

Front room close-up

Monkey nursery

"Watermelon" bathroom

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Cream Cheese Cravings!

2010-03-17T00:57:00.000-07:00

Last week I dreamed of giant, crumbly cream cheese muffins. I've never had them baked from scratch, just the pre-packaged variety from the local gas station. I grabbed one from the 7-11 baked goods case and it was closer, but just not the stuff dreams are made of. Here's the recipe I found online, I'll be using the vanilla flavoring and omitting the optional lemon.

Cream Cheese Muffins - makes 12 regular muffins (I'll most likely convert this to 6 jumbo muffins)

8 oz. Philly cream cheese - softened
1/4 cup soft butter
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup milk
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 sugar
3 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. vanilla - opt.
1/4 tsp. lemon flavor - opt.

Beat cream cheese and butter together; add egg and milk and mix well. Mixture does not have to be smooth.
If you want the flavorings, add them with the milk and egg.
Combine the dry ingredients and fold in just until moistened.
Batter will be stiff.
Fill greased or lined muffin tins about 3/4 full.
Bake at 400*F about 20-25 minutes or until golden on top.

While looking for said conversion from regular to jumbo muffins, I ran across this delicious recipe. I think I'll try this before I do the plain cream cheese muffins. Perhaps it's because my dad made carrot cake for his birthday last week and I didn't have any because he puts crushed pineapple in his. Yuck! (My mom usually spoils me and does 2 cakes, one with and one (the right way) without pineapple.)

Carrot & Cream Cheese Muffins

Carrot Muffins:
1 1/2 cup all purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1 cup sugar
3 eggs
2/3 cup vegetable oil
1 1/2 cup shredded carrots (about 8oz of baby carrots)
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Cream Cheese Filling:
4 oz. cream cheese, softened
1 egg yolk
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 350. Prepare your muffin tins by greasing with cooking spray or using paper liners.

Sift together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg and sugar; set aside.

In separate bowl, beat the eggs and oil together until lightened. Stir in the carrots, walnuts.

In another bowl, cream together the cream cheese filling ingredients; set aside.

Fold the dry muffin ingredients into the wet egg/oil mixture and stir until just combined.

Fill each muffin cup about ¾ full. Top each filled muffin cup with a generous teaspoon of the cream cheese filling.

Bake about 20-25 minutes*, or until a toothpick inserted into the cake part comes out clean.

*If making standard sized muffins, bake for 17-20 minutes.
*If making jumbo sized muffins, bake for 23-25 minutes.

Have you read a good book today?

2010-03-16T21:12:00.001-07:00

(Is anyone else singing or humming the Reading Rainbow theme song? He he he)

I just finished reading the very thought provoking "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer. I have a stack of books I should read, I even have another stack of books I've been wanting to read, but none I'm actually motivated to read.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Anything at all. (Except my husband who is not allowed to suggest anything Star Wars)

A Perfect Brightness of Hope

2010-03-15T06:09:00.001-07:00

I know that we are imperfect and our hope is included in that imperfection. Heaven knows my hope is imperfect. I believe through our own efforts we are but a glimmer of hope. But He is the perfect brightness of hope we seek.

The following was taken from a talk by James E. Faust, “Hope, an Anchor of the Soul,” Ensign, Nov 1999, 59

Everybody in this life has their challenges and difficulties. That is part of our mortal test. The reason for some of these trials cannot be readily understood except on the basis of faith and hope because there is often a larger purpose which we do not always understand. Peace comes through hope

Samuel Smiles wrote: “ ‘Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey towards it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.’ … Hope sweetens the memory of experiences well loved. It tempers our troubles to our growth and our strength. It befriends us in dark hours, excites us in bright ones. It lends promise to the future and purpose to the past. It turns discouragement to determination.”

The unfailing source of our hope is that we are sons and daughters of God and that His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, saved us from death. How can we know that Jesus truly is our Savior and Redeemer? In human terms His reality is almost undefinable, but His presence can be known unequivocally by the Spirit if we continually seek to live under the shadow of His influence.

Peace comes through Him and He is Hope.

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Confession:

2010-03-09T03:27:00.000-08:00

I love Don Williams. I do. (but don't tell my dad!)

When we were younger my dad would make us listen to cassette tapes of Don Williams on long road trips. I can't remember now if the trips really were long or if the seemingly endless drone of classic country twang made them so. However long the trips I could think of nothing more pleasurable than yanking the cassette from its deck, crushing it and throwing it from the open window and watching as its ribbons streamed behind it like kite strings.

I think I was homesick and missing my daddy while perusing CDs at Walmart in Southern Utah when I came across an old familiar face. As my heart pined for home, my ears craved the hickory baritone of Country music's "Gentle Giant."

My parents took me to see Don Williams' farewell tour and while I may have been among the youngest in the audience, I sang along to every song. And I swooned with each make-your-heart-melt, rumbling note.

Of all the music on my iPod, lately I've found myself returning over and over to the romantic Country ballads I found so torturous in my youth. Perhaps it's still a chance for me to reconnect with my restless youth long gone. I suspect that his lyrics of love and devotion mean a great deal more to me now that I have someone who has left his own permanent imprintation of love and devotion on my heart.

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Apparently I bruise easily...

2010-03-07T00:33:00.000-08:00

I had to have my blood drawn once last week and again this week, as you can see it bruised both times. The smaller bruise makes me laugh because she promised it wouldn't bruise. The larger bruise she promised would bruise and apologized profusely.

Wii had fun this weekend!

2010-03-06T23:53:00.000-08:00

For his birthday Mashuga got coupons and one of those coupons was for a sleepover at our house. On our way home we met Grandma and Grandpa at Costco where Grandpa bought him a dinosaur book and a churro. Then we went with them to Olive Garden for dinner. Spoiled!! I was exhausted when we got home (having only had 2 hours of sleep after a graveyard shift) but luckily he has an awesome uncle who stayed up past his bedtime to ski jump on the Wii fit.

He played and played Wii fit on his own the next day with me before we headed to Grandma's house for breakfast. While we were there he bowled with Grandpa on the Wii. (and kicked Grandpa's butt I might add with a nearly perfect score!)

Mashuga wanted to go swimming. Actually, he wanted to go swimming twice because his dippy aunt made the mistake of saying she'd take him once while Heavenly was at work and then again when Heavenly got home. Ummm, I don't have that kind of energy, I don't know what possessed me to think I could do that! We had planned to wait for Heavenly, but instead I took him with Uncle Jar-bear to the pool. I think he liked having Jar-bear there, he doesn't play with us nearly as often as we'd like.

While Heavenly and I headed to the Jazz game, Mashuga opted to stay home and play more Wii with Grandpa and watch the game with Jar-bear on his big screen TV. I'd say this kid had enough Wii, but the pictures to follow will show you otherwise.
I got them both to take showers... then it was right back to the Wii!

Scud came home from the Jazz game with us even though we found out afterward that he had a talk in Primary. (Sorry Haha!) We even got Scud to get up and play Wii fit. Those who know him will know this is pretty spectacular.

Such handsome boys! Wii had a lot of fun this weekend, thanks Grandma for buying the Wii fit and balance board for Christmas. Now you know it gets used. (I use it too... I just don't want any pictures of that and neither do you!)

10 Things someone loves about me.

2010-03-02T01:54:00.000-08:00

I've been fighting the ugly depression monster lately, for quite some time really. My thyroid levels are elevated and so they've adjusted my dose. Again. And my doctor even suggested that I start back on anti-depressants. I'm not happy with that prospect and I appreciate that she left the decision ultimately up to me.

Apparently I haven't been very nice to myself lately because I got an email from my mom after one of my posts. I love her! She just gets me, she sees the best in me she knows who I really am. From now on I'm going to start doing a regular post that contains at least one good thing about me. For now, here's what she had to say:

Hi! Just read your blog. I don't know how to add a comment. I know, I know, I drive you crazy because I am so computer illiterate.

Okay, so I think, why would you want to run away from beautiful, wonderful you? I think you really want to run away from sick and miserable you. So I think you need to tell me 10 nice/good things about you. Remember when you and Jared were little and were so snotty to each other and I would make you say something nice about each other? Well, this is a version of that. Quit dwelling on the negative. Tell me 10 nice things about yourself - you know kind of like "name 10 fruits"!!!!!

Okay, so I'll tell you 10 things I love about you. If you can't add to my list, you can use some of my things.

1. You are beautiful - physically & emotionally.

2. You can think of the words that I can't! Better vocabulary - better memory.

3. You are kind to others.

4. You are thoughtful of others.

5. Your are nurturing. You take care of everyone - even your brother who probably doesn't deserve it. You take care of me and I do deserve it!

6. You are funny and witty and fun. Is that one thing or three?

7. You are smart. I am amazed at all that you know; about life, about people & relationships, about book smart stuff, about the scriptures. Oh, and you know more about computers than me.

8. You are spiritual - yes, you are - don't try to deny it.

9. You are loved - by your parents, your siblings, your niece and nephews, your aunts, uncles, cousins, cousin's wives, friends, co-workers, past co-workers, ladies in the 14th ward, and just about everyone that comes in contact with you.

10. You are spunky and irreverent. I know it sounds like that is contrary to #8, but it seems to work in you. You are such a fun mixture of sweet and sour, soft and strong.

Heavenly and Coco

2010-03-01T19:22:00.000-08:00

When I asked Coco if Heavenly could come to his house with me, he said "Him loves me lots." I'm so grateful for a husband who loves my favorite kiddos as much as I do. I don't know how I ever would have gotten along with someone who didn't. These are just two of many pictures I've snapped of these two cuties together.

Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?

2010-02-16T05:37:00.001-08:00

One of my all-time favorite books is "Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are" By: Dr. Seuss. Seriously, all-time!

I was introduced to it when my niece was little and I would listen with her as her mom read it aloud.

It's pages are filled with examples and reasons, in true Seuss fashion, why we are so lucky. The message is clear whether your 7 or 27. And sometimes, probably more often than when I was 7, I need to be reminded just how fortunate I am.

"Thank goodness for all of the things you are not! Thank goodness you're not something someone forgot, and left all alone in some punkerish place like a rusty tin coat hanger hanging in space.

That's why I say "Duckie! Don't grumble! Don't stew! Some critters are much-much, oh, ever so much-much, so muchly much-much more unlucky than you!"

Sometimes you need a gentle, albeit silly reminder of just how very lucky you are to be you. Pick up this book, find it at the library or buy it at a children's bookstore. Trust me, you won't be disappointed.

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Did anyone see that?

2010-02-07T22:35:00.000-08:00

Tonight I was headed down my parent's sidewalk on my way to work when I tripped, over... my own two feet, a crack in the pavement, nothing? I had to catch myself on my mom's chain link fence that started out two feet away and got closer and closer, faster and faster. I rolled my ankle, scraped/bloodied my wrist and took a big chunk of flesh out of my palm. I said naughty words, quite loudly. When the falling was over and I'd taken inventory of my bleeding hand and aching ankle, what was I worried about? I looked around to see if anyone else had seen. I was already terribly embarrassed because there were 3 men paying soccer across the street.

When I walked back in through my mom's front door I left my pride outside. My nephew took one look at me and knew something was wrong. I sat on the antique chest just inside the front room while he ran for the kitchen and my sweet husband. Heavenly dropped everything and came to find out what was wrong. My pride was hurt, but in this instance so was I. Heavenly patched me up with antibiotic ointment and bandaids and a kiss. (Yes, kisses make you feel better, even when you're 27!)

It happens all the time. Walking down the stairs you miss the last step and stumble. While riding your new bike the chain falls off as you hop a curb and your face is introduced violently to the asphalt. (It happened to me, I admit it.) But before I even took the time to worry about my own injuries, I surveyed my surroundings to see if anyone had seen the stunning show as I launched over the handlebars.

So, why is it that when we fall we're less concerned about our physical well-being than we are about what others might think of us? Is it pride? I'm sure it is, I've found in my experience that pride frequently results in acts of stupidity.

Is there such a thing as a Happy Groundhog Day?

2010-02-02T04:24:00.000-08:00

I don't think there is such a thing. I can't remember a single one where that dang groundhog hasn't seen his shadow. Six more weeks of winter? Bah!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, that Punxsutawney Phil is a real bastard!

Really, Phil's just a tool... his handlers are the real bastards. Bastards I say!

Think I'll go to Boston

2010-01-22T21:54:00.000-08:00

Lately I've felt like I need a change. I don't really want to move to Boston. Or even leave my home. I just want to run away from myself.

Gotta love Augustana... this song is chocolate cake for my ears. Yum!

When skies are gray.

2010-01-17T01:41:00.001-08:00

Lately I've been in quite the funk. I think many people get that way when the weather turns cold and the sky is dark and gray. Mostly I just sleep. A lot. And wake up when it's time to get ready for work.

The past few days have been exceptionally difficult for me, I've been neglectful to my body and the rest it desperately needs. My depression is always worse when I'm tired. Even the soft sounds of my husband sleeping peacefully do little to soothe my loneliness. I often find myself thinking thoughts I am too ashamed to put into words and eventually, out of sheer exhaustion cry myself to sleep.

Today I felt a crash coming. Hard. And after being awake for way too many hours I did crash, waking up only a few minutes before Heavenly got home from work.

I opened the door feeling ashamed that I'd wasted an entire day in bed, again. And there, to my surprise, was my sweet husband with a bouquet of sunshine yellow tulips.

Heavenly Father sent me this wonderful man to bring sunshine into my world when skies are gray. And for that I will be eternally grateful.

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If God were on Facebook

2010-01-12T05:55:00.001-08:00

If God were on Facebook...

He'd request to be a friend to everyone and we'd simply have to choose to accept Him.

If I ever had a problem, I could post it on His wall, or send it to Him as a message if I didn't want anyone else to know. And He'd answer me the next time He logged on. I'd get an email to notifye that my question was answered, my prayer was heard.

If God were on Facebook, I think He'd be logged on all of the time. So really anytime we needed Him, we'd just pick him out of our list of buddies and send Him an instant message.

So maybe He isn't on Facebook, and maybe He isn't online, but He's always ready to chat with us. We just have to take the time.

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Speechless

2010-01-08T17:27:00.000-08:00

I understand it's hard to believe that I could ever be speechless, but I am. Or I should be. After 3 weeks of a sore throat I broke down and went to the doctor. I actually hoped for one of those "call the doctor and your sickness miraculously disappears" didn't happen. Instead I got some antibiotics and almost instantly got worse. My sore throat has been lingering because of a sinus infection and my symptoms worsened instead of improving with medication.

So, I'm at work with laryngitis. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to talk on the phone and the radio when your voice is barely above a whisper? And why is it that people think it's funny to whisper back at you?

Because I need this sometimes...

2009-12-05T14:28:00.001-08:00

When, and perhaps especially when we don't believe in God, He still believes in us.

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A message of hope

2009-12-04T07:30:00.000-08:00

Everytime we reach out, however feebly, for Him, we discover He has been anxiously trying to reach us.

The Savior's Atonement lifts from us not only the burden of our sins but also the burden of our disappointments and sorrows, our heartaches and our despair.

--Jeffrey R. Holland
Broken Things to Mend

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The many faces of Heavenly Hunk

2009-11-11T21:08:00.001-08:00

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Someone needs a bottle of Midol!

2009-11-06T20:42:00.000-08:00

Raise Children, Not Flowers

2009-10-25T17:33:00.000-07:00

My sister posted a link to this article on Facebook and I thought it applied to many of us. Whatever you are doing, whether you have children or not, I think it is a good reminder that we need to be gentler with those around us and especially gentler with ourselves. After all, we are all children.

Raise Children, Not Flowers

I'll never forget the story of David, my next door neighbor a while back, who taught me a great lesson one morning as I watched him trying to teach his seven-year-old son how to push the gas-powered lawn mower around the yard. As he was showing him how to turn the mower around at the end of the lawn, his wife Jan called to him to ask a question. When David turned to answer the question, Kelly pushed the lawn mower right through the flower bed at the edge of the lawn--leaving a two-foot wide path leveled to the ground!
David was not happy about this. As soon as he saw what had happened, he began to lose control. David had put a lot of time and effort into making those flower beds the envy of the neighborhood. The moment his voice climbed higher in a semi-rage toward poor Kelly, Jan walked quickly over to him, put her hand on his shoulder and said, "David, please remember...we're raising children, not flowers!"
The moral of this story couldn't be more important today. Each one of us is enduring more stress as we face a recession and a deep financial shakeup that has no end in sight. During times like these it's essential for us parents to remember what our priorities are. Our kids and their self-esteem are more important than any physical object they might break or destroy. The window pane shattered by a mishit baseball, a lamp knocked over by a careless child, or a plate dropped in the kitchen are already broken. The flowers are already dead. All of these things are replaceable; our children are not. We must remember not to add to the destruction by breaking a child's spirit and deadening their sense of aliveness.
Words, especially when yelled in anger, can be very damaging to a child's self-confidence. The child probably already feels bad enough just from seeing the consequences of his or her behavior. Our sons and daughters don't need more guilt and self-doubt heaped upon their already wounded egos. If anything, they need to be reminded that we all make mistakes throughout our life. (Here's an exercise to try: the next time you feel like raising your voice to one of your kids, stop and think about the last time you made a mistake. It probably wasn't too long ago, and you really don't care to be yelled at for that right now.)
More recently, I was buying some new clothes in a men's store and the owner and I started talking about parenting. He told me that while he and his wife and seven-year-old daughter were out at a restaurant for dinner, his daughter knocked over her water glass. It spilled everywhere and messed up her mother's dress as the water flowed over the edge near her seat. After the water was cleaned up without any recriminating remarks from her parents, she looked up and said, "You know, I really want to thank you guys for not being like other parents. Most of my friends' parents would have yelled at them and given them a lecture about paying more attention. Thanks for not doing that!"
Once, when I was having dinner with some friends, a similar incident happened. Their five-year-old son knocked over a glass of milk at the dinner table. When they immediately started in on him, I knocked my glass over, too. When I started to explain how I still knock things over even as an adult, the boy started to beam and the parents seemingly got the message and backed off. How easy it is to forget that we are all still learning.
One of the best stories I've ever heard about "spilt milk" and the lessons of making a mess comes from a famous research scientist who made several very important medical breakthroughs. A newspaper reporter once asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother, which occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator, when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor--a veritable sea of milk! (Thankfully, no glass shattered, but the milk kept flowing out like a river.)
When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?"
Indeed, he did. After a few minutes his mother said, "You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up, and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel or a mop. What do you prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.
His mother then said, "You know what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!
This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment he knew he didn't need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. They are simply that--just experiments to see what happens. Even if the experiment "doesn't work," we usually learn something valuable from it.
Wouldn't it be great if all parents responded the same way Robert's mother responded to him? After all, why do we have that phrase, "Don't cry over a little spilt milk." It truly is no big deal. We need to remember that we're raising capable, confident kids--not shiny linoleum floors.
One last story which illustrates the application of this attitude in an adult context was told by Paul Harvey on the radio several years back. A young woman motorist was driving home from work when she snagged her fender on the bumper of another car. She was in tears as she explained that it was a new car, only a few days from the showroom. How was she ever going to explain the damaged car to her husband?
The driver of the other car was sympathetic, but explained that they must note each others license numbers and registration numbers. As the young woman reached into a large brown envelope to retrieve the documents, a piece of paper fell out. In a heavy masculine scrawl were these words: "In case of accident . . . remember, honey, it's you I love, not the car!"
Let's remember that our children's spirits are more important than any material things. When we do, self-esteem and love blossoms and grows more beautifully than any bed of flowers ever could.
I'll end this by reminding you that parenting during acutely stressful time periods adds another element to the job that can be hard to prepare for. We are bogged down by our own emotions and woes such that the slightest mishap by one of our kids will send us over the edge. That said, our children can act as great buffers to that stress. They may not have a handle on all that's going on in the world, nor understand the decisions we have to make as parents to ensure the health and security of our families, but surely you can agree that the joy the bring to our lives outshines so much of that stress. Let them act as children--let them make mistakes and learn from them. After all, it's those same mistakes we made growing up that allowed us to mature into thoughtful, productive, and compassionate adults. And remember, you are raising children, not flowers!
Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jack-canfield/raise-children-not-flower_b_268607.html

Delicious chocolatey miniatures

2009-10-25T00:25:00.001-07:00

A month or so I posted a picture of a fudge ribbon cake I'd baked for my friend's birthday. Here they are in miniature form, because I was curious to see how they'd turn out.

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Missing my little buddy.

2009-10-23T00:39:00.000-07:00

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Monster mash

2009-10-18T19:17:00.001-07:00

My friend Kristi and I got together and made these adorable Frankenstein treats.

They were quick and easy. Just cover a Rice Krispies treat with green frosting, dip into chocolate sprinkles for hair, pipe stitches, eyes and a swiggly smile. We used green, wintergeen Tic Tacs for eyebrows and bolts. Voilà!

Although Kristi and I email on an almost daily basis this is the first time we've gotten together in a year and a half! It's sad how often we let our busy lives get in the way of our relationships.

Our meeting was a bonus for me, I got a beautiful glass party tray etched with snowflakes and a new Scentsy warmer. Yea for late wedding presents and Scentsy orders!!

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We like a healthy Heavenly best!

2009-10-14T00:55:00.001-07:00

My poor sweet husband woke me up tonight to tell me he was sick. He'd been throwing up, and even more worrisome, throwing up blood as well. Food poisoning? He ate some shrimp for dinner and we're guessing that is the culprit.

I don't like when my sweetheart is sick! I tried to make him as comfortable ad possible since he insisted on sleeping on the bathroom floor. I daresay this decision won't help his back that he tweaked at work Monday.

For now he's snoring and resting peacefully. He already promised to call in sick in the morning. I wanted him to call tonight. I know he's really sick when that's an option!

Heavenly is so rarely sick that I often take my strong and healthy hubby for granted. I like to know what's wrong and I like to know how to fix everything. Fixable or not, I do not enjoy the sight of my sweetheart lying on the hard floor.

A wise pediatrician once gave my mother some indispensible advice:

"Don't worry until there's something to worry about, even then if it can be fixed, don't worry."

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my personal drugstore

2009-10-07T01:02:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of all of the drugs I'm currently taking. I assumed that seeing my new doctor would mean new medication, and I was correct. I got some really interesting information from him, namely that I have been taking my thyroid medication incorrectly for the past (however long I've been taking this medication!) Of course this is why my ob/gyn suggested I see an endocrinologist because she is admittedly out of her specialty league. Because I've been taking it incorrectly the vitamins impeded its absorption and cause me to only get about half the prescribed dose.

And to add to the fun the endocrinologist prescribed Metformin (which is the devil's medicine!) for my PCOS. Again, I learned more than my ob/gyn was prepared to teach me. She wouldn't prescribe Metformin to me because I am not diabetic, I am not even close to being pre-diabetic. Luckily my sugar levels are quite low. The endocrinologist however, taught me that while my sugar levels are healthy, there can still be some insulin resistance at the level of the ovaries themselves. So, I am now on the devil's medication! I am hoping it takes care of the PCOS, I'm hoping it does what it's supposed to. I really hate it though! It's awful! It churns and twists my stomach and causes miserably "crappy" side effects!

Hopefully more medications mean more results. Fingers crossed!

counting my blessings

2009-09-12T23:15:00.000-07:00

Here is Baby Juju, my latest and tiniest blessing. While his little brother was in his mommy's tummy Coco would always say that "Baby Juju" was in his own tummy. I love babies in blue jeans! I want one!

On the right is my beautiful sister who keeps having these little blessings. (Obviously! Because as cute as my brother is, he's definitely a boy.)
I'm so grateful for her because of her I have 5 little blessings I can't have on my own. And she herself has given me and continues to give me blessings beyond my ability to count them.

The hit bird flutters

2009-09-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

So here's the thing... I wrote a post a few days ago about the following fertility question that struck me as very silly.

"How can I tell the difference between semen and fertile cervical fluid?"

I understand this is a valid question. I happened to understand the validity of the question before I posted this. However, whether it's a good question or not, I still think it sounds funny when you read it. I won't apologize for making fun of the question.

However, I will apologize, that some people can't channel their anger appropriately and instead lash out at those who did nothing to deserve it.

Kenna I'm sorry that our anonymous friend (and I use anonymous loosely and the word friend even more so, because we both know they're not very anonymous or friendly) said such terrible things to you when she was supposedly so angry with me. I wish she would have said such terrible things to me instead. Many people don't see your vulnerable side and don't realize just how much they hurt you when they're insensitive. My apologies to you.

I have a favorite seminary/institute teacher and he had a great saying: "The hit bird flutters." What does it mean? Figuratively speaking, if you throw a rock at a bird mid-flight, it will flutter if it's hit. People are the same way, they don't get offended unless what is said applies to them.

My blog wasn't meant to be hurtful, it wasn't striking out at all fertile women, I know and love many women, who unlike me, have been easily blessed with children. It wasn't even meant to strike out at all who have ever asked a stupid question. It was simply referring to that particular question which I found to be ridiculous when I read it.

Happy Birthday Tessa!

2009-09-08T23:42:00.001-07:00

What's better than your husband having a super cool, entertaining best friend? When that friend marries the coolest girl ever and you get a new best friend too! This weekend I made this decadent chocolate marble cake to celebrate Tessa's 21st birthday. Hey Ben thanks for being smart enough to marry such an awesome girl! And Tessa, thanks for putting up with Ben!

Why are dumb people fertile?

2009-09-04T05:29:00.000-07:00

Warning: The following post is really funny, but some people may find it gross. Read at your own risk. (it's not that bad, I'm just giving a heads up)

This morning I was flipping through tips on fertilityfriend.com and ran across one that made me laugh. It was one of those questions that made me cock my head to one side and say "huh?"

"How can I tell the difference between fertile cervical fluid and sperm?"

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that if you don't know how to tell the difference, ie; sperm comes from a boy, you probably shouldn't be having sex and you DEFINITELY shouldn't be procreating!

Honestly, don't you think a better time to be checking the consistency of your cervical fluid would be BEFORE sex?

I'm just saying.

Of course, this person will probably have no problem getting pregnant and have plenty of children who grow up equally ignorant. You know, since this whole fertility thing is so fair and all.

Waiting on the Lord

2009-08-30T05:35:00.000-07:00

First of all, I have to tell you that some of these words came from someone else, I can't honestly take credit for them.

I found a great book a few weeks ago, one of those books you finish reading and want to immediately start over again. I found it at Macey's, it's published by Deseret Book, so I'm sure you can find it there. And you should too.

I Hate It When Exercise Is the Answer: A Fitness Program for the Soul
By: Emily Watts

I've heard her speak and have bought several of her books for my mom and sister, this is the first I've bought for myself. It won't be the last.

In a chapter 25 called "Wisdom from Gracie: An Exercise in Waiting on the Lord" the author tells of finding a postcard with this saying attributed to Gracie Allen: "Never put a period where God has placed a comma."

"Never put a period where God has placed a comma." It had immediate appeal for me as a person for whom punctuation has been a profession, but its meaning has since gone far beyond the 'editing connection.'

I like closure. I like to put the period on the sentence of a situation and move on. But life doesn't work that way very often. The Lord frequently invites us to trust Him, to hold on, to endure, to wait and see what He has in mind. As Psalm 27:14 tells us, 'Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.'

One of my problems is that, when my patience is tried, sometimes I attempt to jump too quickly to the hindsight. I trust that things will work out all right, and I can wait a little while for events to unfold, but often I try to put the period in places that were obviously meant for a comma. I think I see God's purposes when really we're not there yet."

Patience and waiting on the Lord are difficult for my finite mind to grasp, even more difficult to execute. And the concept of periods vs. commas becomes increasingly ironic to me when literal periods continue to dash my hopes of ever making it beyond the never ending comma of infertility.

(I swear this post started out as a positive idea... where did I get off track?)

Sigh... how to get back on track?

I've been trying to decide what my life would be like if I could remind myself that "...this too shall pass." So I am trying to be patient, because I'm certain that's one of the attributes my Father in Heaven is trying desperately to teach me. The idea is much simpler than the execution.

Has it really been 2 years?

2009-08-30T03:09:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow Heavenly and I are going to see my friend who is finally home from his mission. I can't believe how fast time flies! I guess since Heavenly and I just celebrated our 2nd anniversary I should have realized it was coming soon. After all, he came to our sealing just before he left.
Kyle, Chad and Jake had a surprise gift for me, and even got Heavenly in on the action. Kyle and Chad played and they all sang "Dream" by The Everly Brothers. The only time I teared up the entire day.

Kyle also sat at the guest book at our reception.

I still remember being nearly as excited for him to be there as I was that I was getting married. Ours was the first sealing he'd ever been to and he was so excited to be in the temple that day.

Thank heaven for wonderful friends!

(Yes I understand how pathetic it is that I've written about my friend coming home from his mission before I've done anything about my anniversary... such is life.)

Pirate Cake

2009-08-25T04:30:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures of the pirate cake I made this weekend for my friend/coworker. (Sorry for the one that's sideways) It was for his daughters' birthdays who are big fans of Pirates of the Caribbean. I think it turned out pretty snazzy.

Belly badge light!

2009-08-24T00:34:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning Heavenly and I were watching cartoons with my nephew Coco. I was excited when Heavenly told me They were watching Care Bears. I'll admit they don't look the same, graphics have come so far and yet, new Care Bears look much less like bears. Is it a difference in graphics, or could it be that cartoonists now are much more concerned about the quantity of work they produce to trifle with quality?

Aside from my annoyance at the lack of detail put into the new age excuse for Care Bears, I had a much bigger problem. Instead of the classic and irreplaceable "Care Bear Stare!" they work together by saying "belly badge light!" and I'm thinking, what's up with that? Who is it that grew up wanting to be a cartoonist, inspired by the classics, and thought it would be a good idea to ruin every cartoon I hold dear? Who does that?

At least the REAL shows are coming to DVD so I can enjoy them in all their vintage splendor.

Everybody's workin' for the weekend!

2009-08-19T17:40:00.000-07:00

Today is my Thursday, tomorrow is my Friday. It's not that I don't like my job, I love it, most of the time. I'm just really excited for my weekend. I have no plans. None. And that makes me really happy. Maybe I'll get some cleaning done, maybe I'll get more unpacking and organizing done. Or maybe I'll just hang out and do nothing. That sounds delightful!

A stellar performance!

2009-08-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

Last night (or should I say early this morning) I watched the Perseid meteor shower with my mom, my husband and my niece and nephews. (Even my dad woke up for the last of our intergalactic viewing) When it didn't start until midnight I wondered whether the kiddos would even make it. They were excited by the prospect of seeing a meteor shower and completely undaunted at the task of staying up several hours past their bedtime! We went outside just before midnight and saw beams of light streak through the sky almost immediately.

I don't know if I'll ever be more entertained watching a meteor shower again, that's the benefit of such adorable company! Each of the kids watched in their own way.

Coco(2) made it until just before midnight when he fell asleep listening to "Strawberry Shortcake and the Deep Dark Woods" for the third time in a day. He spent the time asleep with Grandpa on his bed. I don't think a meteor shower would have been very impressive to a 2 year old.

Mashuga(6) and I started by laying on top of the patio table with the others gathered around on comfy patio chairs. Then soon found ourselves cuddled up together on blankets spread across the cool summer grass. Mashuga (6) was so excited he could hardly contain himself (which is how he is about everything that excites him!) and he saw meteors that were naked to the un-six-year-old eye. Aside from the meteors the rest of us saw, he pointed randomly this way and that as balls of fire dashed across the sky of his own imagination. He talked animatedly and his plethora of "What ifs..." about whether the meteors were really UFOs or what we would do if those same UFOs landed inches above Grandma's house could be heard throughout the entire show. (And perhaps throughout the neighborhood too.) Mashuga was the only one who made it as long as the adults and I think he made it on sheer willpower. He spun circles on the patio table trying to see in every direction so he wouldn't miss a meteor. He would sit still only so long before zooming across the yard for "pretend fights" with the solar light that was still alight.

Scud(8) made it a few minutes before heading back into the house to veg in front of the TV some more. Then he moaned and groaned when Grandma made him come outside with everyone else. His protests continued as he laid on the grass, wrapped like a burrito in his favorite blanket. "This is boring... I'm bored... I want to watch TV!" We all made it perfectly clear that his only other option was to go inside and go to bed so he stayed begrudgingly. When his cries of boredom could no longer be heard I checked and found him fast asleep. I think he enjoyed the meteors he did see, but the waiting was more than he could stand.

Kaitybean(11) was enthralled and thoroughly enjoyed the entire thing. She's getting so old and getting to be such good company. The in between time was no big deal for her, she watched the twinkling stars and talked happily about the sounds of the rushing August breeze as it swirled through the yard and blew the blanket over her, obstructing her views. When the first blanket became "too crowded," she brought more and invited me to share. I left Mashuga cuddling with Heavenly (and insisting he wasn't cold) and laid with Kaitybean for a different view. While we watched the sky with anticipation she talked about germs and wondered whether germs had their own germs, and what if we were really only a tiny speck to others? (The fact that I'd watched "Horton Hears a Who" with Coco earlier that day made this prospect much funnier.) I left her on the ground to resume my watching by Mom in the patio chairs and her inquiries became quieter and quieter until we realized she too was asleep on the lawn.

This particular meteor shower may happen every year, but my experience was once in a life time.

Come what may and love it!

2009-08-10T20:58:00.000-07:00

When I do this I can see my cheeks!

2009-08-06T23:04:00.001-07:00

I was sitting my sisters the kitchen when her 11 year old, Kaitybean, walked in and said, "When I do this I can see my cheeks!" When I turned around this is what I saw...

And then Mashuga had to do it...

and Coco...

and Scud too...

Is there any question why I love these kiddos? They make my heart happy!

My heart hurts.

2009-08-05T02:09:00.001-07:00

Tonight as Heavenly and I walked through Target I heard a baby crying and crying and crying. The sound made my heart hurt. Bad.

How to spoil your husband in 4(ish) easy steps (G rated)

2009-07-15T04:13:00.000-07:00

Step 1: Bake a Ninja Turtle cake for his birthday, outline with chocolate frosting.

Step 2: Pipe in and smooth eyes and tongue.

Step 3: Using the color for his favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, pipe in stars for the mask.

Step 4: Use green frosting and pipe stars in to fill out the rest of the turtle's green skin.

Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of my happy birthday boy with his cake. I'll have to remember that next time. (I doubt I'll be making another one just so I can get a picutre!)

A heavenly birthday

2009-07-09T23:05:00.000-07:00

Heavenly told me a week or so ago that he doesn't want to get older. It was funny to me because men usually aren't conscientious of their age, especially because, to me, 27 seems like such a "whatever" kind of age. Some of you may know, I had my birthday last month and am already 27. I'm already older than Heavenly and always will be, but if he stays 26 and I keep getting older he'll never grow old with me. (sort of Twilight-esque) After I mentioned that to him, he agreed to this one last birthday, and we'll both stay 27 forever.

So, my heavenly hunk, here's to today, your first 27th birthday. And here's to celebrating an eternity filled with 27th birthdays to come.

He knows

2009-07-09T03:30:00.000-07:00

When referring to the Savior's atoning sacrifice, we often remember it as a sacrifice for sins. We forget, I forget, that His perfect sacrifice did more than pay the price for sin. He also experienced pain in all its forms so that we might turn to him for all our problems.

The perfect thing about a perfect atonement, no one, no matter what the sin, no matter what the trial, is exempt from it! So, if you're feeling like no one understands how you feel,(and trust me, I've been there... I'm there now!) He knows.

For our benefit, the poet wrote:

In golden youth when seems the earth
A summer-land of singing mirth,
When souls are glad and hearts are light,
And not a shadow lurks in sight,
We do not know it, but there lies
Somewhere veiled ’neath evening skies
A garden which we all must see—
The garden of Gethsemane. …
Down shadowy lanes, across strange streams
Bridged over by our broken dreams;
Behind the misty caps of years,
Beyond the great salt fount of tears,
The garden lies. Strive, as you may,
You cannot miss it in your way;
All paths that have been, or shall be
Pass somewhere through Gethsemane.

Sensitivity comes through awareness

2009-07-08T03:59:00.000-07:00

Ana Nelson Shaw, “Being Sensitive to Couples without Children,” Ensign, Aug 2000, 61

• Remember that the circumstances in which infertility occurs vary greatly from couple to couple. Infertility may result from a health condition on the part of either or both spouses. Sometimes couples become infertile after they already have a child or children. Some have married later or waited to try to have children, and some have not. Regardless, all deserve compassion and freedom from stereotypes.
• For some sensitive situations, such as baby showers, it might be wise to ask first whether a person wants to be invited. You don’t have to handle infertile people with kid gloves; just ask how they feel and if they are up to certain events. But be sure to include them in Church and family activities.
• Try not to second-guess a couple’s medical treatments or other actions. They have most likely been careful and prayerful in making difficult decisions. Trust that they have learned what is best for their family. Remember that decisions about building a family are between a husband and wife and the Lord.
• Recognize positive contributions that are not related to childbearing or rearing. Everyone needs to feel valuable, and this is sometimes hard—particularly in Latter-day Saint culture—when one cannot become a parent.
• Realize that infertile people can be sensitive to the undertones of your comments, and try to be careful about what you say. For example, saying “You’ll get pregnant if you just relax” implies that you think infertility is the couple’s own fault, when in reality it is usually a medical condition not caused by stress. “You’ll get pregnant as soon as you adopt” implies that you see adoption as merely a path to having a biological child, when it is actually just as valid a path to parenthood as pregnancy. Even reassurances such as “It will happen in the Lord’s time” can be painful for people who are preparing themselves for the possibility that they will not have biological children during this lifetime.
• Express your support and love with simple, positive, nonintrusive comments such as “I love you” or “I have been praying for you.” Your genuine care and concern are needed by those experiencing the trial of infertility.

Contentment? Not today.

2009-06-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

"Contentment: Inspirational insight for the LDS mother"

This is the title of a book I passed while walking through Walmart. I didn't see any books offering insight for those LDS women struggling with infertility. There is no "Chicken Soup for the childless LDS woman's soul." So I wonder, what about the rest of us?

Family and friends offer words of comfort, words like"It will happen." "...in the Lord's time." "Everything happens for a reason." "We were married for 3 years before we had... and another 4 after that until..." Words spoken in love, with the best of intentions, splinter the shards of my already broken heart and taste like bile in my mouth.

I know all too well that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. In mid-May "Congratulations, you're pregnant," from my doctor felt more like a cruel joke than welcome news.

It is difficult to find contentment when some mothers are lying in a hospital room counting perfect fingers and tiny toes, and I clutch only my cramping belly and aching heart. In the end my hospital room looks more like a horror movie, soaked crimson with my lost blood and with it lost hope. The agonizing pain of my fruitless labor made sharper as I leave the hospital with empty arms and empty womb.

Contentment you say? Perhaps some day it will find me, but not today.

Moving vs. Vacationing

2009-06-26T13:55:00.000-07:00

I've decided one thing I like about moving, you pack EVERYTHING! I get really anxious when I pack for a vacation and (ask my Dad because it makes him crazy) tend to over pack. Over pack is probably an understatement. I just get so worried I'll forget something or a situation will come up and I'll need something I have at home, so I bring it along too. When you're packing to move you don't have to worry about that because you entirely empty out your apartment or your house until it is devoid of any personal belonging. Then you clean every nook and cranny so even if you missed something by chance, you're likely to find it.

No worrying about forgotten cameras or packing enough underwear, you just take it all.

On a happy note, I ordered an Ultra Shark steam blaster last week and it came a few days early! I've been excited to get it and use it on my new tile and hardwood floors, now I'm even more excited because I get to use it to clean my old apartment!

I am a child of the 80s

2009-06-26T09:21:00.001-07:00

A few questions I have.

2009-06-26T02:10:00.000-07:00

How can two people who built a lovin' home,
Try for years and never have a child of their own?
When somewhere out there tonight,
There's a baby no-one's holdin' tight:
In need of love.
To me, that don't add up.

But I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
So I don't mean to second guess you,
Or criticize what I don't understand.
These are just a few questions I have.

--A Few Questions by Clay Walker

New House!

2009-06-24T03:17:00.001-07:00

Here are a couple of pictures of our new house. I'll post some of the inside when we're finished moving in and painting.

What's with the red square?

2009-06-20T23:33:00.001-07:00

Heavenly and I recently bought a new house, and in our new formal room there is a solitary red square/rectangle. Heavenly and I, along with Brandon our real estate agent had a grand time coming up with our own ideas why someone would paint a single solitary rectangle of red on the wall without finishing the entire wall.

Here are some of our top reasons:
1. Testing the color before they painted the upstairs bedroom
2. Leftover paint after painting the bedroom
3. Wanted to paint the whole wall, but decided they were too tired after painting an entire bedroom
4. Frame for a picture
5. They thought a red circle would be too weird

Here's the deal, it was fun coming up with our ideas, but I want to know what you think. Leave me a comment and let me know why you think the previous home owners would have painted a solitary square instead of finishing the entire wall.

Sometimes God gives us people to show how much He loves us.

2009-06-18T14:20:00.000-07:00

Throughout all of my moves I have kept a simple card given to me by my sister. I can't remember now why she gave it to me in the first place. I run across it every once in a while and it reminds me that I do not have to face my struggles alone.

The front is a picture of two little girls decked out in rain hats, ponchos and galoshes underneath a great big umbrella. Inside is the simple phrase "Until the sun comes out again for you, my umbrella's big enough for two."

At the end of my sister's loving, hope-filled words she wrote a list of scripture passages and this quote:

"... the greatest anchor to your soul, in time of trouble, in time of temptation, in times of sickness, in times of indecision, in times of your struggles and work, (is that) you can know with a certainty that defies all doubt that God lives."
--Pres. Harold B. Lee
Read:
Doctrine & Covenants 121-122
2 Corinthians 4:8-9 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but not forsaken, cast down but not destroyed.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
John 14:18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

I am grateful for my knowledge that God lives, that He loves me. And in times of trials when I am faced with challenges sure to break my soul, those struggles which cause me to doubt whether God really does hear me and answer me.... I am eternally grateful to Him because He gave me a family who loves me and a sister who shares her umbrella.

What would your cardboard sign say today?

2009-06-08T02:12:00.000-07:00

If I had a cardboard sign today, mine would say "Will work for prayers."

I'm not ready to write about why, but I really need your prayers. Please, try to remember Heavenly and I as you pray. I know I'll write about it later, right now I'm just too drained and emotionally raw to be able to put it into words.

Falling apart...

2009-06-07T14:50:00.000-07:00

I'm convinced my Heavenly Father gave me a husband with strong hands and strong arms, who holds me firmly when things go wrong, to keep me from falling apart.

Up to snuff...

2009-05-23T04:34:00.000-07:00

I used the phrase "up to snuff" in my last post, does anyone know what this means or more to the point, where it came from? Maybe it's something like a group of guys passing around a can of snuff and they were "up to snuff" if it was their turn for the can. Who knows.

And by the way...you have E. Coli

2009-05-22T02:04:00.000-07:00

The nurse from my doctor's office called yesterday. She told me I have E. Coli. How strange is that? I went for a UTI and found out I have food poisoning. I guess this explains why I felt sick all weekend and am still not feeling up to snuff.

I was down and feeling sick both Friday night and Saturday day, so I can't even blame McKenna for choosing Joe's Crab Shack for her birthday dinner. Darn it! You know I love you Kenna, I've never stepped foot in there for anyone else!

Luckily the doctor seems to think that the antibiotics I'm already taking for the other infection should knock out the E. Coli too. Perhaps my body has sort of malfunctioning reject chip that causes it to get strange illnesses no one else around me seems to get. I thought I should be grateful for the UTI since it's how I found out about the E. Coli, until I read on the CDC website that some strains of E. Coli can actually cause them.

Just call me I.P. Orangeley

2009-05-20T02:38:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 3:30 in the morning Monday morning, randomly. There was nothing out of the ordinary about that or the fact that I laid in bed and read my book instead of going back to sleep like a normal person would. However, I realized after a while that I felt anything but normal.

For the last couple of days of my weekend I felt nauseated and had a horrible headache, but just figured it stemmed from staying up too late and lack of sleep. Nausea gave way to a urinary tract infection and all its miserable glory!

I've finally learned my lesson about waiting to take care of it after several UTIs turned to horrific kidney infections, the last resulting in my miscarriage last November. So I got into the doctor first thing and got antibiotics and that sweet little brown pill that makes your pee look like orange Kool-aid or Tang.

When our friend found out the medicine has the interesting side effect of altered urine color, he was sorely disappointed at it being spring and therefore no snow on the ground. (Boys!) Whatever silly side effect, I was grateful that its other side effect is that my pain went away and I could finally cope.

It's 3:45 Wednesday morning, again I can't sleep, but at least it's not frequent/painful urination keeping me awake this time.

How to get kids to eat their vegetables

2009-05-13T21:14:00.000-07:00

If vegetables tasted like this, I would totally eat them!

My co-worker was craving sugar and thought it would be a good idea to bring us each a "single serve" brownie cake. "Single serve" is what they call it, I think 4 people could get their fill on it. It's pure evil, dang it!

Bake Sale

2009-05-13T19:23:00.001-07:00

Today there was a bake sale at our work in order for the incentive committee to raise money for our summer party. My mom decided it would be fun to make some more pupcakes. They're so cute and easy, but time consuming and make your hand hurt from all that piping. So after a dozen of them we decided to do something different with the other dozen. I made cute sunflowers by piping sunny yellow petals and filling the center in with mini-chocolate chips.

I also made a giant cupcake. When I couldn't figure out how to decorate the whole thing I decided I'd make a giant Hostess cupcake. I scooped out the center and filled it with whipped cream, then frosted the whole top chocolate and did cute white swirls across the top. Kenna suggested last time I made a giant cupcake that I should put something next to it to show how big it is, so I put the regular Hostess cupcake next to it. Problem is, if you hollow out the center of a cake and fill it with whipped cream you need to put something over that hole. Whipped cream is obviously not a strong enough base for frosting.

With baking you live and learn.... and you get to eat your mistakes! (clearly I make a lot of mistakes!)

Next time, how about a big NEON sign with flashing lights?

2009-05-13T01:19:00.000-07:00

Heavenly and I did something very adult and very scary tonight. We put an offer on a house, our very first house. I'm a little bit of everything (excited, nervous, settled and terrified) all rolled into one. I thought making a decision to buy our first car was difficult enough and it was about 10 times cheaper than a house!

We talked about it and thought about it, we prayed about it and stewed about it, we went to the temple to serve others and hoped for answers to our questions. I didn't feel at all settled after the temple, I felt peaceful like I always do after I leave the temple. I just didn't feel like I got a concrete answer from my Heavenly Father. At least not the kind of answer I was looking for. I wanted a solid "Yes" or "No," seriously I would have settled for "Not right now." I just didn't feel like I got any of that. My real estate agent, who is also my cousin and has been excellent to work with us, called a couple of times to find out if we'd decided anything. He told me to pray hard and that it never hurts to "sleep on it." I just didn't know how long he'd wait for me to make a decision and I didn't want to make a decision if I wasn't getting an answer from Heavenly Father because I didn't want to give the wrong one.

I added up our monthly income and subtracted all of our bills, even factoring in tithing, groceries and gas for the car. Having it all in black and white helped me to see if we could really do this. Heavenly shook his head a lot, but didn't say much other than that. I didn't know if he thought what I came up with meant we could afford it or if we should keep looking. (Men are so annoying sometimes!) Yesterday I was talking to my sister Haha, and told her about my findings. I told her we still have money left over every month after gas and bills and food. She was much more positive and said that it sounded great, that we could easily do it. (I don't know about easily, but I appreciated her enthusiasm.)

After talking to Heavenly about Haha's reaction, he told me that's how he felt too he just hadn't said anything. (See what I mean about how annoying men can be?) So I called Brandon and told him the decision we'd come up with, that we'd like to put an offer on the house.

As soon as I made the decision and said it out loud I felt the wave of relief and positive assurance I'd been waiting for. Sometimes our Father in Heaven doesn't tell us "yes" and he doesn't tell us "no," and he doesn't even tell us "not right now." Sometimes he allows us to make a decision for ourselves and then he tells us whether that decision was the correct one. Our Father in Heaven helps us to grow by allowing us to make our own decisions and then rewards us with warm fuzzies afterward.

I appreciate the opportunities God gives me to learn and grow by testing my faith, but next time I wouldn't mind a great big NEON sign with flashing lights! (Just once.)

No hope for the future...

2009-05-13T00:59:00.000-07:00

I answered a 911 call and a timid little voice on the other end of the line said, "There's a car outside that wrecked, can you come fix it?"

"There's a car outside that's wrecked?" I confirmed, "How did it get wrecked?"

"It wrecked into a fence." She said matter of factly.

"A car wrecked into a fence, is anyone hurt?" I questioned.

"Uh-huh. Can you come fix it?"

I started a call on my screen of a car accident and at this point felt like I needed to get some more information and hopefully talk to an adult.

"Can I talk to your mommy or your daddy?"

"She told me not to stay on too long." Click.

When I called back it was an older gentleman who answered the phone. I informed him that a cute little boy or girl had called 911 and said there was a wreck, that a car had crashed into a fence outside of the house and people were hurt.

"There's a car wreck in front of the house? Hang on, let me see." (Um, not exactly what I expected.) When he got back to the phone he told me there was no car wreck in front of the house or anywhere that he could see, so I explained to him that it was a child who had called and perhaps it was just a prank. So he told me his granddaughter was there and perhaps it was her, "Here, can you tell her mother what you just told me?"

Another voice got on the phone, I explained again how her imaginative little girl had called 911 and told me that a car had wrecked into a fence in front of the house and people were hurt.

"Oh, I didn't even know she knew the number for 911," was her reply.

When I have a more intelligent conversation with a 5 year old than I do with her mother, I worry about the future. Or, maybe it means I should worry less about the future and wonder how that little girl came to be as bright as she is with such little help.

Happy Un-Mother's Day!

2009-05-09T17:36:00.000-07:00

I thought I hated Valentine's Day when I was single, but I've come to realize that Single Awareness Day was never as difficult as the Un-Mother's Day I'll be having tomorrow.

Every Mother's Day my church has a small gift for all of the mothers in the ward. Not wanting anyone to feel left out they include all women 18 years old and older. I've always hated this, always, even when I wasn't married and fighting with infertility. When I stood up I could feel the stares of others upon me as if to say "You're not a mother." Of course these curious glances were innocent eyes stopping at the face of each standing woman as they wandered around the congregation. Innocent or not, I could not escape the way they seared into my soul and made me feel completely inadequate as a woman.

Tomorrow if I wake up early enough after my grave yard shift to go to church, I will encounter similar inquiring eyes. Except in this "multiply and replenish the earth" community that is the Mormon church, I feel much more pressure to be a mother than I would receive from the outside world. Outside of Utah it is perfectly acceptable for a couple to be married 2 years without having a child, and perfectly acceptable for me to be working instead of being at home raising children. In fact the only thing the outside world might find odd about my marriage is that even though I married at the ripe old age of 25, it's still much younger than many outside of Utah choose to get married.

I'm certain you mean well with your well wishes and words of encouragement, and I'm not sure how to gracefully accept them and still tactfully tell everyone that I'd rather not have any of it. A kind word of encouragement to you may buoy you up, a card may wish you well. I'm not a mother and I'd really rather not be reminded of that fact. What works to comfort you does not work for me. Please don't offer to have the baby for me, it seems very generous to you, to me it is a reminder that not only can you have your own children, but you can have mine for me too.

I'm grateful for a mother-in-law who brought up a son who is gentle and kind, caring and compassionate. For teaching him hard work, responsibility and selfless service. I'm grateful to my mother-in-law for teaching her son to respect women and treat them properly and most of all to love me fiercely and unconditionally.

I'm grateful for a mother who, when it comes to me, has always celebrated this day with great sensitivity. Her presents and cards have always reflected on my worth as a daughter and gratitude for making her a mother and making her role as a mother easier.

But Officer, I had the munchies!

2009-05-06T16:52:00.000-07:00

"Two Weeks Notice" starring Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant, has a great conversation outlining what defines an emergency.

Sandra Bullock: "You said it was an emergency! And didn't I memo you as to what constitutes an emergency?"
Hugh Grant: "Yes, large meteor, severe loss of blood and what was the third one again?"
Sandra Bullock: "DEATH! And you're not dead!"

A call we got last night has kept these comedic tag lines swirling through my head all day. Surely more people should take Sandra Bullock's advice when trying to determine whether their complaint warrants a call to 911.

Sometime after 1 AM a female called from one of the rest areas in our area. Her cell phone kept cutting out and my partner was barely able to ascertain her location, let alone what the emergency was. He called back after the phone disconnected and what he found out had me flabbergasted! The woman was calling 911 because the vending machines at the rest area were not working properly.

I've tilted and shaken, bumped and pounded on a vending machine. I've even contorted, however unsuccessfully, my arm in an attempt to get that ungettable snack food. In all the times I've punched my selection only to watch with disappointment as the corner of the packaging snags on my delightful 75 cent cupcake, not once did it ever occur to me that I should call the police! After all, what more could he/she do, shoot the dang thing?

THIS POST INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK

2009-05-01T21:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a page in a training manual or text book that reads:

"THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK"

And except for that sentence the page really is blank. Would someone look at that same page, sans warning, and worry what they might be missing? And isn't writing the message on the page sort of an oxymoron anyway? It's no longer blank once it has writing on it. If it's supposed to be blank, leave it blank!

I feel the same way about people who write blog posts to inform their readers they have nothing to write. Write when you have something to write. There's nothing I hate more than getting to the end of a post that's several paragraphs long, all the while hoping if I keep reading they'll eventually get to the point.

If you don't write anything I'll understand you don't have anything to say or write about, most of your readers are smart enough to make the connection too.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

Whine 11 - What's the address of your emergency?

It's the incredible, unforgettable, multi-dimensional ME!

...what a difference 6 months (give or take) makes...

Have you ever wished Love and Encouragement came in a bottle?

Bath time

Christmas is about the Christ

Insight from a hooker...

Random Truths

Cookie Decorating 101

Hair Me Out

...my little football man...

Housework - Gag!

... eat drink and be merry ...

A friend of the furry persuasion.

Back on the wagon again!

9 tips for surviving rough times with a smile

Combatting ignorance and insensitivity with humor...

Hurtful Headlines...

The many faces of my little man...

Sleepy conversations with Heavenly...

A project with a smile...

The Gospel is the good news!

Goals!

Writer's block

I wanna getaway!

Please do not adjust your computer...

Melt my heart!

I could use a good fart joke today...

Be ye therefore helpful

Hand me down memories

Playing catch up with Houston

Counting my blessings in pictures...

Right now

Red velvet cake pops!

Proofreader needed

Houston, we have a problem!

Live the dream!

My house... My touch

Cream Cheese Cravings!

Have you read a good book today?

A Perfect Brightness of Hope

Confession:

Apparently I bruise easily...

Wii had fun this weekend!

10 Things someone loves about me.

Heavenly and Coco

Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?

Did anyone see that?

Is there such a thing as a Happy Groundhog Day?

Think I'll go to Boston

When skies are gray.

If God were on Facebook

Speechless

Because I need this sometimes...

A message of hope

The many faces of Heavenly Hunk

Someone needs a bottle of Midol!

Raise Children, Not Flowers

Delicious chocolatey miniatures

Missing my little buddy.

Monster mash

We like a healthy Heavenly best!

my personal drugstore

More questions than answers

counting my blessings

The hit bird flutters

Happy Birthday Tessa!

Why are dumb people fertile?

Waiting on the Lord

Has it really been 2 years?

Pirate Cake

Belly badge light!

Everybody's workin' for the weekend!

A stellar performance!

Come what may and love it!

When I do this I can see my cheeks!

My heart hurts.

How to spoil your husband in 4(ish) easy steps (G rated)

A heavenly birthday

He knows