It's the incredible, unforgettable, multi-dimensional ME!

You may remember the post I wrote about my amazingly thoughtful sister and her unique Christmas gift to help me combat the blues. If you don't, you can read about it here. Or, you can scroll down and read it because it's literally like 2 posts away. Don't worry if you don't want to do either (I don't blame you), I'll give a little run down before I begin the second part.

Depression sucks. Seriously. I actually think that it literally sucks my will to live sometimes. I happened to be confiding in my sister, just before Christmas, about how bad my depression had been and still is. I didn't expect anything from her, sometimes I just need to talk and she makes a phenomenal sounding board. Fast forward a couple of weeks to Christmas. I was anxious to open my present from her because she'd mentioned being excited to give it to me "if she could pull it off." Made me curious. What she gave me was one of the most (maybe the most) considerate, thoughtful, loving gifts I've ever received and may ever receive. A jar. Not just any jar, but a jar filled with paper folded stars of beautiful papers. With it, a note: "A jar of Love and Encouragement. Open one each week for a year."

I'm not sure how many I've opened so far, but we're not even two months away from Christmas and having opened them every time I've needed a pick me up rather than once a week, I'm certain I've opened waaay more than 8. Sad that I've needed so many, but I've been eternally grateful to have each of them in my times of need.

Now for the follow-up. You may learn a few things that surprise you, some things you never knew about me. Maybe you'll realize you don't know me as well as you think. I know I've certainly been reminded of several things I'd let myself forget. Here's the list of what I've opened so far:

1. You are so thoughtful and mindful of others. You're always trying to find ways to make others happy and more comfortable. Thanks for your example.



2. "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Nelson Mandela



3. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we re here, we might as well dance!



4. "What you create doesn't have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don't let fear of failure discourage you." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf



5. I love that she is so good at cooking and thinks everything tastes better with food dye. -Scud (Who is my adorable nephew who makes purple scrambled eggs that only he will eat and sends me pictures of them, because like he said, I get it!)



6. "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7



7. This week, call me and let's find a time to go to dinner or lunch together. (Hey Haha, we totally need to do this still!)



8. "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." -Judy Garland



9. "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." - Franklin D. Roosevelt



10. "Look unto me in every thought. Doubt not. Fear not." -D&C 6:36



11. You are never afraid (or never appear afraid) to use your voice to speak and stand up for what you believe. Wow!



12. You are smart, witty and fun to talk to. Also, I'm always amazed by all you know because you pay attention! (How did I not learn that as a kid?)



13. You are one of the most generous people I know, and like Heavenly Father, a cheerful giver of good gifts.



14. "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." -Henry Ford



15. "Never give up on anyone. And that includes not giving up on yourself." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf



16. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6



17. "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." -Lao Tzu. This week, I encourage you to let go. Let go of who you were. Let go of who you think you are. Trust yourself to live, to grow, to become who you can be. It will be beautiful.



18. All of this attention you've received as a dispatcher is only the outward evidence of the inward amazingness of you. You are smart, brave, attentive. You genuinely care about others. You are doing things right. You are so good on the inside. You deserve an award daily.



19. I love that she is so caring. -Scud



20. I love that you're spunky, that you tease others and you're such a good sport. You're just so much fun.



21. You can do this! You can do hard things! You're amazing!



22. "Happiness is the object and design of our existence, and will be the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it." -Joseph Smith



23. I love the way she loves everyone. -Kaitybean (my wonderful niece who is not only equally spacey as her mother, but a beautiful, kind and wonderful, miniature version of her.)



24. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt. Remember, you are in charge! -Kaitlyn (See, I told you!)



25. "I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me." Phillipians 4:13



26. "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27



27. I love that you are fiercely passionate. What you love, you love wholly. What you do, you do passionately. Bravo! (This one gets me into trouble. A lot.)



28. "Face troubles with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility." -Thomas S. Monson



29. "God loves broken things." -Jeffrey R. Holland Remembering this has literally changed my life. I know, in my bones, that God loves me in my deeply broken state. His most treasured gifts are a broken heart and a contrite spirit. His love and mercy are constant, powerful. He loves me. He loves you!



30. How blessed I am to have a sister, and that it is you! Please always remember how dearly I love you, all of you, and that you're deeply deserving of that love.

I saw a saying that describes our relationship perfectly. "My sister has the best sister in the world!" It's true... my sister's sister has the best sister in the whole world! (Did you follow that?)

Writing all of these out made me realize that my most wonderful gift didn't come in a glass jar filled with paper, but in Heavenly Father giving me the most creatively loving sister. Thank you Haha, for being you. And for loving me, just for being me.

...what a difference 6 months (give or take) makes...

Check out the first picture, taken around Memorial Day 2011. These are by far the most beautiful, chubby baby faces in the whole world!

Next we have storytime with Grandpa on Christmas morning. I wish I'd gotten a better picture, of course it's my little guy who refuses to stay still. (Kenna if you got a picture of this and it's better than mine, can I have it please?)

No matter how much I tell them, "Stop GROWING!" they never listen.

Have you ever wished Love and Encouragement came in a bottle?

Now it does!


I am convinced that Heavenly Father looked over the list of trials I would be called upon to face and in His infinite wisdom and mercy, saw fit to bless me with the kindest sister imaginable.

One of my favorite things about my sweet sister is her ability to give gifts that keep giving long after the holidays have been forgotten. Instead of giving what I think I want, she gives me what I need which ends up being what I really wanted.

For Christmas my sister gave me this jar filled with beautifully folded snippets of love and encouragement.


Here's what I've opened so far:

"You are so thoughtful and mindful of others. You're always trying to find ways to make others happy and more comfortable. Thanks for your example." -Haha

"I love the way she loves everyone." -Kaitybean

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Nelson Mandela

I know I'm supposed to wait and open one each week for a year, but I secretly want to open them all at once and just pull one out when I'm feeling down. The tricky part, beside living up to who they know I am, would be folding each paper back into its star-shaped beauty.

Check back for more love and encouragement throughout the year.

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Bath time

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Christmas is about the Christ

In these precious moments we realize what we feel and know in our heart—that Christmas is really about the Christ.
Christmas and some of the cherished traditions of the season remind us that we, like the Wise Men of old, should seek the Christ and lay before Him the most precious of gifts: a broken heart and a contrite spirit. We should offer Him our love. We should give Him our willingness to take upon ourselves His name and walk in the path of discipleship. We should promise to remember Him always, to emulate His example, and to go about doing good. 1
We cannot offer Him the gift of perfection in all things because this is a gift beyond our capacity to give—at least for now. The Lord does not expect that we commit to move mountains. But He does require that we bring as gifts our best efforts to move ourselves, one foot in front of the other, walking in the ways He has prepared and taught.
And what are the Savior’s gifts to those who are willing to bring these gifts to Him?
This may be the most one-sided gift exchange in the history of the universe. The Savior’s gifts to us are breathtaking.
Let us begin with immortality. Because the Savior overcame death, all men and women—both the just and the unjust—will live forever. 2
Then, forgiveness—even though our sins and imperfections be as scarlet, they can become white as snow because of Him. 3
And finally, eternal life—the greatest gift of all. 4 Because of the Atonement of Christ, not only are we guaranteed an infinite quantity of life, but He offers the possibility of an unimaginable quality of life as well. 5
Some of His divine gifts are reserved for that glorious future day when we return to His presence.
But He extends many gifts and His grace to us every day. He promises to be with us, to come to us when we need comfort, 6 to lift us when we stumble, to carry us if needed, to mourn and rejoice with us. Every day He offers to take us by the hand and help transform ordinary life into extraordinary spiritual experiences.

Of Curtains, Contentment, and Christmas
By: President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
2011 First Presidency Christmas Devotional (2011)

Insight from a hooker...

I've been thinking a lot lately (and not-so lately) about self esteem and body image. It's terrible how closely and how often the two are linked in our society of unrealistic role models with their perfectly air-brushed everything.

This thinking has had me thinking this morning, of a line from a movie. My mom is always teasing me because I know nearly every line of every movie I watch by heart, basically the first time I've seen it. I think, while she would use it differently, that she's secretly jealous of my freakishly, amazing memory recall.

Here's the scene, pay close attention to the last line, it's the most important:

Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.

Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.

Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe.

-- IMDb Quotes: Pretty Woman (1990)

How true it is that we begin to believe what is said, and how sad that in my case (and I suspect a great many others' as well) I am usually the first and loudest proponent of my own "bad stuff."

Despite my husband's valiant efforts to convince my over and over of my beauty and self worth, I'm bombarded with "bad stuff" making it difficult to ignore.

Today, I'm going to make a goal to think and say more good stuff about myself.

I hope you'll do the same for yourself.



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Random Truths

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


2. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.


3. There is great need for a sarcasm font.


4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?


5. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.


6. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.


7. Bad decisions make good stories.


8. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work (and at home for me) when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.


9. "Do not machine wash" or "Do not tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever!


10. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer, drop the phone and run away?


11. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.


12. I keep some phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer.


13. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.


14. I would rather try to carry ten, over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring in my groceries.


15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.


16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.


17. how many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?


18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.


19. Is it just me or do high school kids get smaller and smaller each year?


20. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.