I'm always seeing articles about ways to keep sane as a mom or mom of a toddler, I always know it was written just for me, but I never actually follow the advice. It's ridiculous, really. This time will be different. I'm posting it here so I can come back whenever I need a little reminding to treat myself gently.
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Put yourself in time out
My mother-in-law often recalls how, as a mother of three spirited young boys,
she would find it necessary to lock herself in her bathroom, sit on the floor
and let out a few screams and tears of her own. I always chuckled at the thought
of my sweet mother-in-law hiding from my husband and his brothers in what is
arguably the least-dignified room in the house.
Oh I laughed alright, up until the day I found myself seeking refuge in my
own bathroom, Diet Coke in hand, as my children banged on the door until they
presumably found themselves bored with the whole tantrum theatrics and moved on
to their puzzles.
You know what? After a few moments of alone time, I found in myself the
strength and will to open the door, wipe my tears away and dispose of the "kids
for sale" sign I'd been working on all afternoon.
Find your 5 minutes of peace throughout the day, whether it be meditating in
your own little corner or sitting in your parked car in the garage. These 300
seconds will get you through the most difficult hours, of this I am certain.
Treat yourself
As the wife of a graduate student, my budget for all things frivolous is
painfully limited. My thoughts are often consumed by the stack of bills laughing
at me from my desk, the groceries that seem to run out much faster these days
(who knew my 18-month-old would have such an appetite?), and the guilt brought
on by my desire for a new pair of heels.
But setting aside a little money and time each week to spend on something
that makes you happy is an extremely worthwhile investment. For me, that splurge
can be as small as a McDonald's ice cream cone or as extravagant as a pedicure.
In fact, your treat doesn't even need to cost you a cent. Reading your
favorite book while soaking in a bubble bath is zero dollars, you know?
Whatever your indulgence may be, make it something that rejuvenates you;
something that reminds you that hard work deserves a little reward.
It's completely worth it.
Exercise
I know, I know, on the daily list of to-dos exercise can be one of the harder
tasks to squeeze in. But a little bit of physical activity not only helps a busy
mom stay healthy, it can greatly contribute to her happiness as well.
The American Council on Exercise offers a list of tips for moms who
want to make exercise a part of their busy routine. Some of those suggestions
include scheduling your workouts for the week ahead of time, buying workout DVDs
to maximize school and nap time, and joining a gym with a good daycare.
Another tip: Involve your kids in your workouts. Instead of driving to the
park, load them in the stroller and run. For the extra ambitious, you could even
set up an obstacle course in the yard.
Schedule a monthly night out with girlfriends
This is perhaps the one that takes the most effort, but for me it yields the
most effective results. Pencil in one evening a month with the girls and without
the children. Go to dinner, see a movie, check out a museum, stay in and gossip
over junk food — it's not the activity that matters, it's the off-the-mom-clock
time and adult conversation that makes all the difference.
Forgive yourself
As mothers, we are our own greatest critics. We're going to yell, we're going
to lose our temper, and we're most certainly going to feel a little inadequate.
We often see the glowing mothers around us who handle their children with
seemingly effortless grace and wonder how it is we were entrusted with our own
little people when we fall so short.
But it's time we as mothers cut ourselves some slack and celebrate the things
we're doing right. We're keeping humans alive and happy, for crying out loud!
And that, my friends, is no small feat.
