So here's the thing... I wrote a post a few days ago about the following fertility question that struck me as very silly.
"How can I tell the difference between semen and fertile cervical fluid?"
I understand this is a valid question. I happened to understand the validity of the question before I posted this. However, whether it's a good question or not, I still think it sounds funny when you read it. I won't apologize for making fun of the question.
However, I will apologize, that some people can't channel their anger appropriately and instead lash out at those who did nothing to deserve it.
Kenna I'm sorry that our anonymous friend (and I use anonymous loosely and the word friend even more so, because we both know they're not very anonymous or friendly) said such terrible things to you when she was supposedly so angry with me. I wish she would have said such terrible things to me instead. Many people don't see your vulnerable side and don't realize just how much they hurt you when they're insensitive. My apologies to you.
I have a favorite seminary/institute teacher and he had a great saying: "The hit bird flutters." What does it mean? Figuratively speaking, if you throw a rock at a bird mid-flight, it will flutter if it's hit. People are the same way, they don't get offended unless what is said applies to them.
My blog wasn't meant to be hurtful, it wasn't striking out at all fertile women, I know and love many women, who unlike me, have been easily blessed with children. It wasn't even meant to strike out at all who have ever asked a stupid question. It was simply referring to that particular question which I found to be ridiculous when I read it.
10 comments:
It's interesting how you keep raking me over the coals about my post on Kenna's blog when I sincerely apologized & acknowledged that I was wrong yet after being told your post was insensitive/offensive, you keep justifying that you wrote it. Even though you feel your post wasn't offensive, it was to me. Yes, you have the right to your opinion on your own blog, except when you open it to the public you're then responsible for your words & how they affect others
...different than if you just kept a private blog/journal.
You said "Of course, this person will probably have no problem getting pregnant and have plenty of children who grow up equally ignorant" which was not addressing just the question but was condescending/demeaning to the person who asked it when you referred to them as ignorant & therefore their children will be, too.
Val, it's your blog. This person needs to just get over it. Just because it is a public blog for people to read, doesn't mean they have to respond or that you have to blog with others in mind. People who post all about pregnancy and babies hurt your feelings. Do you tell them to stop? No you don't.
I have a private blog and inadvertently offended people also. So if there was a person who has never judged or offended, let them say something.
I think if you found humor in something, write it. If this person is really so easily offended, they need to stop living because things out there are offensive and we have no control over others.
Sorry, Sarah, it just isn't right when you say - "Just because it is a public blog for people to read, doesn't mean they have to respond or that you have to blog with others in mind" - because when we put anything out to the public to read we're responsible for anything we write & how it affects others. I feel saying it just doesn't matter what we put on our blogs for others to see/read, as long as it pleases us, is irresponsible & thoughtless.
Dear Anonymous,
I can't help but think that you know both Val and Kenna. However, I do want to respond to the comment you just made. Did you even read it? It makes NO sense! Why should I be responsible for how others CHOSE to feel about something that I've written on my PUBLIC blog? You are personally responsible for how you choose to feel, it's all you! Just as Kenna and Val have EVERY right to put what THEY want up, after all it's THEIR blog! What is irresponsible and thoughtless is the way YOU are responding to all this. All over there are people who write and post only what pleases them, they make billions of dollars doing it, if we don't like it, we can chose not to view it. And personally, I found the question funny!
I have held my tongue long enough.
First off, I agree with Janel. I think that you,anonymous, either know me and Val personally or you are close to perhaps a family member/person who knows us. I still find it insanely cowardly that you refuse to post who you are. If I don't know you, then what's the problem with standing behind what you are saying? It just makes me more skeptical.
You did apologize on my blog, but I honestly couldn't tell if you were sincere about it. It more or less just sounded like you were trying to justify what you said. Any person with a conscience would KNOW that the words you said were rude, black, and ugly and that they had the potential to hurt. I do not care what you say about me, but when it comes to infertility as a whole, I draw the line there. You just don't understand and while I don't expect you to understand, I do expect respect. It is basic human decency.
Yes, we are responsible for what we write, but Janel has an amazing point. You CHOSE to be offended. No one can make that choice for you. You CHOSE to read Val's blog and mine as well. If it displeases you so, then why do you keep returning?
It just doesn't make any sense.
I have children. I know Val. I feel ignorant compared to her and have several times. Oh well. I don't get offended by what she says simply because I may not know what is behind it. There are authors who write and put some offensive things out there. If you don't like it, don't read it. Don't buy their product. You have no right to control what is said by everyone.
Life sucks. Everyone hates something and wishes things were different. You can't change it. My husband has a disease that will take him early from me and our young kids. Do I act out on people who get to live their lives with healthy husbands? Nope. I have never said anything about it to someone else like this until now when it was somewhat called for. I don't attack people and tell them they have wronged me on blogs either. I have a blog. I can say what I want there.
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." ~Maya Angelou
"I have a blog. I can say what I want there."
Hmm...I have to agree with anonymous on this one...only this though! If your blog is for your eyes only I can understand writing whatever you feel like but when it's on the internet for all to see, no, we can't just write whatever we want to. We alone have to take ownership for what we write, say to others online or off, in a blog, in messages, etc. because as is obvious in this crazy thread what we say does affect others. :~)
I come to Val's blog to see what she has to say. I search her out. It isn't just on the screen when I turn it on. It does affect others. Never said it didn't. But it is a right that all human have. She is not threatening anyone. She is speaking her mind. And she is doing it on something she has control over. She isn't posting it on MY blog. She did it here. You can choose to read it, you can choose to never see it again. Your CHOICE.
"And she is doing it on something she has control over."
Yep, my point exactly!
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