I asked Heavenly, "Does your mom have quilting frames?"
"No, she has 2x4s that can shrink down to the size of a baby blanket, and she just uses c-clamps to hold them together and puts them on stands."
"Heavenly, those are quilting frames!" (and I've got to ask his mom if I can see these shrinking 2x4s, that's incredible!
(You know I love you, who else provides me with so much entertainment? As long as I've got you and Mashuga I'll never be bored!)
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I never asked for this blood bath!
My good friend is going to have a baby soon, within the next couple of weeks in fact. She is the wife of my very good friend, he was my friend, my entertainment, my dish-washing partner, eater of my food, my home teacher and when I got married he was even my bride's maid! (although he preferred the term bride's man) I love making baby blankets, my mom and I have tied many. When I found out they were expecting I knew exactly what I had to find. For months and months I scoured for Ohio State University fabric, his favorite team from his home state. I searched the web, combed through local fabric stores, called stores in Ohio and even sent my cousin from back east on a wild goose chase! I had nearly given up and decided I would pay someone much more talented than I am, to piece something together. Then, just this month, in a last ditch effort I tried eBay one last time. Eureka! Two yards of beautiful fabric, my prayers were answered! (Is it okay to pray for dumb things like finding the right fabric? I figure I pray so little that He welcomes any reason no matter how silly).
We tied the quilt last week and it has been my job to cut 3x3 squares for picots (however you spell the word) so I spent hours cutting red, gray and Ohio State fabric into little squares which will then be folded into triangles and sewn around the edges. I've mentioned before that being a perfectionist is both a blessing and a curse for me, right? Today I spent an hour and a half cutting and removing every tie of yarn because I decided the blanket is too crooked.
I threw the fabric into the washer hoping to clean off the red yarn fuzzies and minimize the holes left from the ties. I'd washed both pieces once before, so I threw the white Ohio State top in with the red flannel bottom. (you see where this is headed, don't you?) Heavenly, out if curiosity or inspiration decided mid-cycle to open the lid. He discovered that my red was still very much red and my white nearly impossible fabric find was now a deep shade of pink! He called me into the bathroom, nor sure how to break the bad news gently. I gasped in horror and grabbed for the already soiled linen as if removing it from its current blood bath would undo the damage. Realizing the fruitlessness of this effort I sank to the floor and sobbed unable to do anything but watch as my tears streamed down the side of my bathtub and soaked the rug beneath my knees.
My sweet and ever the optimist husband came to my rescue, calling my MIL who is a seamstress and finding out if there was anything we could do. We used regular Gain detergent with bleach, Carbona Color Run Remover, Rit Brightens and Whitens, Mrs. Stewart's Concentrated Liquid Bluing(twice) and another cycle with regular Gain detergent just for good measure. Six cycles later I again have clean white Ohio State fabric. And I bought a new panel to go on the back of the quilt... gray flannel!
I may find another project to use my evil red flannel, or I may cut it into tiny little pieces while listening to angry music and drinking lots and lots of Coke!
We tied the quilt last week and it has been my job to cut 3x3 squares for picots (however you spell the word) so I spent hours cutting red, gray and Ohio State fabric into little squares which will then be folded into triangles and sewn around the edges. I've mentioned before that being a perfectionist is both a blessing and a curse for me, right? Today I spent an hour and a half cutting and removing every tie of yarn because I decided the blanket is too crooked.
I threw the fabric into the washer hoping to clean off the red yarn fuzzies and minimize the holes left from the ties. I'd washed both pieces once before, so I threw the white Ohio State top in with the red flannel bottom. (you see where this is headed, don't you?) Heavenly, out if curiosity or inspiration decided mid-cycle to open the lid. He discovered that my red was still very much red and my white nearly impossible fabric find was now a deep shade of pink! He called me into the bathroom, nor sure how to break the bad news gently. I gasped in horror and grabbed for the already soiled linen as if removing it from its current blood bath would undo the damage. Realizing the fruitlessness of this effort I sank to the floor and sobbed unable to do anything but watch as my tears streamed down the side of my bathtub and soaked the rug beneath my knees.
My sweet and ever the optimist husband came to my rescue, calling my MIL who is a seamstress and finding out if there was anything we could do. We used regular Gain detergent with bleach, Carbona Color Run Remover, Rit Brightens and Whitens, Mrs. Stewart's Concentrated Liquid Bluing(twice) and another cycle with regular Gain detergent just for good measure. Six cycles later I again have clean white Ohio State fabric. And I bought a new panel to go on the back of the quilt... gray flannel!
I may find another project to use my evil red flannel, or I may cut it into tiny little pieces while listening to angry music and drinking lots and lots of Coke!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Be ye not afraid, be ye faithful
First of all I have to thank my wonderful sister who let me copy and re-post her thoughts for all of you to see.
Secondly, I wish to add my own to what she has so eloquently written. I've heard many different theories about the way our country is heading. These tough economic times are certainly in the forefront of many minds. The inauguration of a new president will not end the debate sparked by years of campaigning.
Barack Obama IS my president and he will have my support. The country did not come to this downfall under his doing and it is unwise to think that he will restore us to the security we've taken for granted for so long. The battle will be long and hard, the same would be true if John Mcain or Mitt Romney were now in his position. If you remember back to 8th grade (I realize for some of you this will be difficult!) or whenever it was you last studied American history, we are governed by a three part system. Checks and balances was designed so that no one branch of government could be given too much power. You may not agree with Barack Obama, but as president he still has to answer to the Judicial and Legislative branches.
The founding fathers were instruments of our Heavenly Father in designing a country where His gospel could be restored and where the church now thrives in these latter days. Heavenly Father will not allow any man to destroy what He has built for His purposes.
As a Live Coal (by Haha)
"But all the wickedness in the world which man may do or think is no more to the mercy of God than a live coal dropped in the sea." -- William Langland
I've thought to write several posts today. One about body image that I really want to get to. One appropriate to election day that touts my feelings about federalism and the poor way we choose presidential candidates in our country and my misgivings about our two-party system.
But what's really been rolling around my head are thoughts of mercy, of salvation, of faith in a living God and in His son, Jesus Christ. I feel like this election cycle (aside from being WAY too long) has differed from many other elections I've witnessed in one way.
With everything that is difficult in our lives right now, it seems that so many people in our country are searching for a savior. Someone to lift them out of the toil and drudgery and uncertainty that come in a time of recession and war and urgent need. Whether it be a new congressman or a new president, it seems that people are in a frenzied search for someone to make everything better. To make it all right again.
But no matter who wins in the elections tomorrow, there will still be terrorists and foreign despots who threaten the freedoms we hold dear. Because we are not perfect in our compassion or wisdom, there will be those who are hungry, cold, poor, sick, despairing.
Simply put, because we are imperfect beings this world will continue to be riddled with imperfection.
Obama won't change that. McCain's putting of our country first won't nullify that truth. Nader won't invent a way out of it. A Baldwinian restoration of the constitution won't bring the solution. McKinney's careful plans won't pull us out, nor will Barr's restitution of personal freedoms.
But at the same time I face this immutable truth -- the fact that our continuing human imperfections make this world imperfect -- I am stilled and sure in the knowledge that all is as it should be. All will be well and it is this journeying and facing imperfection together that will teach us and shape us until we are all perfect beings.
Some might call me naive or foolish or superstitious. That is ok.
Because as this storm swirls and picks up momentum, I am standing steady and firm. I know who I am. I know why I am here. I know where I am going and how to get there.
I stand firmly with my Savior, Jesus Christ and know that no trouble in this world will ever touch me, really. Never permanently.
For all the imperfection in the world, all the sorrows and failings are to Him as nothing.
A live coal in the sea.
Secondly, I wish to add my own to what she has so eloquently written. I've heard many different theories about the way our country is heading. These tough economic times are certainly in the forefront of many minds. The inauguration of a new president will not end the debate sparked by years of campaigning.
Barack Obama IS my president and he will have my support. The country did not come to this downfall under his doing and it is unwise to think that he will restore us to the security we've taken for granted for so long. The battle will be long and hard, the same would be true if John Mcain or Mitt Romney were now in his position. If you remember back to 8th grade (I realize for some of you this will be difficult!) or whenever it was you last studied American history, we are governed by a three part system. Checks and balances was designed so that no one branch of government could be given too much power. You may not agree with Barack Obama, but as president he still has to answer to the Judicial and Legislative branches.
The founding fathers were instruments of our Heavenly Father in designing a country where His gospel could be restored and where the church now thrives in these latter days. Heavenly Father will not allow any man to destroy what He has built for His purposes.
As a Live Coal (by Haha)
"But all the wickedness in the world which man may do or think is no more to the mercy of God than a live coal dropped in the sea." -- William Langland
I've thought to write several posts today. One about body image that I really want to get to. One appropriate to election day that touts my feelings about federalism and the poor way we choose presidential candidates in our country and my misgivings about our two-party system.
But what's really been rolling around my head are thoughts of mercy, of salvation, of faith in a living God and in His son, Jesus Christ. I feel like this election cycle (aside from being WAY too long) has differed from many other elections I've witnessed in one way.
With everything that is difficult in our lives right now, it seems that so many people in our country are searching for a savior. Someone to lift them out of the toil and drudgery and uncertainty that come in a time of recession and war and urgent need. Whether it be a new congressman or a new president, it seems that people are in a frenzied search for someone to make everything better. To make it all right again.
But no matter who wins in the elections tomorrow, there will still be terrorists and foreign despots who threaten the freedoms we hold dear. Because we are not perfect in our compassion or wisdom, there will be those who are hungry, cold, poor, sick, despairing.
Simply put, because we are imperfect beings this world will continue to be riddled with imperfection.
Obama won't change that. McCain's putting of our country first won't nullify that truth. Nader won't invent a way out of it. A Baldwinian restoration of the constitution won't bring the solution. McKinney's careful plans won't pull us out, nor will Barr's restitution of personal freedoms.
But at the same time I face this immutable truth -- the fact that our continuing human imperfections make this world imperfect -- I am stilled and sure in the knowledge that all is as it should be. All will be well and it is this journeying and facing imperfection together that will teach us and shape us until we are all perfect beings.
Some might call me naive or foolish or superstitious. That is ok.
Because as this storm swirls and picks up momentum, I am standing steady and firm. I know who I am. I know why I am here. I know where I am going and how to get there.
I stand firmly with my Savior, Jesus Christ and know that no trouble in this world will ever touch me, really. Never permanently.
For all the imperfection in the world, all the sorrows and failings are to Him as nothing.
A live coal in the sea.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Has anyone seen my keys?
I have major writer's block. No matter how hard I try or how important I feel the subject is, I just can't seem to formulate the right words to do justice to my feelings. As important as the topic is that's in the forefront of my mind, I'm not sure I'm ready to open myself up to such vulnerability.
Perfectionism in writing is both a blessing and a curse.
I figure writer's block is a lot like losing your keys. I'm hoping as soon as I stop looking for the right words to say, I'll find them in a place I least expected.
Perfectionism in writing is both a blessing and a curse.
I figure writer's block is a lot like losing your keys. I'm hoping as soon as I stop looking for the right words to say, I'll find them in a place I least expected.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Tuesday Tunes - EXPLICIT LYRIC WARNING
I ran out of happy pills, we switched insurance companies in January and I have to wait to be able to refill my prescription. For this and other reasons, I'll let Meredith Brooks explain how I'm feeling.
Friday, January 16, 2009
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's an iPhone!
My husband spoiled me and let me buy an iPhone. Since Monday I have been absolutely enthralled by it. When I'm not playing with it, Heavenly is. He's already uploaded one movie and told me last night he's got two more. My dad called Heavenly practical for choosing a simple flip phone. (he informed me his practicality only extends as long as he's working on cars for a living)
It's an iPod, address book, calendar, alarm clock, light saber and magic 8 ball. With it I can munch dots as Pac Man or catapult penguins to defeat evil polar bears. I've cleared dots, popped bubble wrap and texted til my fingers are tired. There are so many things to do and discover, this very post was written entirely using my new toy.
...and sometimes I even use it as a phone.
It's an iPod, address book, calendar, alarm clock, light saber and magic 8 ball. With it I can munch dots as Pac Man or catapult penguins to defeat evil polar bears. I've cleared dots, popped bubble wrap and texted til my fingers are tired. There are so many things to do and discover, this very post was written entirely using my new toy.
...and sometimes I even use it as a phone.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Tuesday Tunes
Ben Folds "The Luckiest"
Dedicated to my amazing and wonderful (though sometimes delusional) husband, who still thinks that I am wonderful too. Because of him, every day I am the luckiest!
Dedicated to my amazing and wonderful (though sometimes delusional) husband, who still thinks that I am wonderful too. Because of him, every day I am the luckiest!
Mmm.. donut!
Especially for Sarah...Last year for my 25th birthday my Aunt Marsha gave me these ginormous donuts, because she's awesome and knows that I love them as much as she does! After having surgery when I was 6 she brought a glazed donut and a yellow vase with a single yellow carnation made into a smiley face with pipe cleaner for its eyes and mouth. When I broke my ankle she brought me donuts.
I still love them, which probably explains a lot about why I look the way I do!
In high school English class we were asked to write a paper, I think it was for a core writing test, but it's been long enough I can't remember exactly what the assignment was. One of the boys, son of the owner/baker at the donut shop in my home town, decided he would write about donuts. I'm sure he thought it would be easy, considering he knew so much about them. Or did he?
After announcing to the whole class the seemingly simple topic of his paper, he began to question (out loud) "What can I write? I don't know what to say."
In my mind the answer was simple and obvious. I turned to my group of friends and in a voice loud enough for all to hear exclaimed, "Dang dude, they're donuts, they're delicious!" My friend Sarah and I laughed until we cried...
...and still do every time we repeat the phrase.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
"New Moon" new director
I've heard some people say that the reason "New Moon" will have a director is that Stephenie Meyer wasn't pleased with the production of "Twilight."
Rather than speculating, I went here to Stephenie Meyer's official website. You can read a letter from Stephenie, including a letter from Chris Weitz, the new director. (It's about halfway down the page, posted December 13, 2008)
I was also excited to find out that Taylor Lautner will continue to play the role of Jacob. Woo Hoo!!
Rather than speculating, I went here to Stephenie Meyer's official website. You can read a letter from Stephenie, including a letter from Chris Weitz, the new director. (It's about halfway down the page, posted December 13, 2008)
I was also excited to find out that Taylor Lautner will continue to play the role of Jacob. Woo Hoo!!
Baby update
Breanna Tiamane (Samoan for Diamond) Dawn Kitiona (Whew, that's a lot of names!) was born January 9th at 0956AM. 6lbs. 13oz. 18in. long, mother and baby are doing fine.
(Yes, Sarah, this is Candice as in Candice)
(Yes, Sarah, this is Candice as in Candice)
Friday, January 9, 2009
A new Dawn
Recently my friend's sister got very sick unexpectedly. She fought long and hard through seizures and medically induced comas, through brain surgery and a tracheotomy. She fought hard and we wanted them to keep fighting to keep her. In the end she was stronger than we thought, and no matter how hard we fought to keep her here, she made a decision to be stronger and leave us. She was just 18.
Heavenly Father has a funny way of renewing life. Candice found out a few months before her sister's illness that she was expecting her 4th baby. I've wondered many times why she's going to have another, she has her hands full with cute kids already. Then I wondered if Heavenly Father might have planned it all along because he knew she would need something extra to focus on after losing Jess. Something to look forward to in times when she feels like all is lost.
This morning she is getting ready to welcome Crystal Dawn into the world by way of C-section. At least that will be her first name if Candice has her way. Dawn was Jessica's middle name. I believe her sweet baby literally will bring new dawn to her grieving family.
How can I not trust such a wise and loving Heavenly Father? Why must I always question His intentions? I am grateful for a Father who is infinitely more wise than I am, who does what's best for me even when I fight so hard against it.
Heavenly Father has a funny way of renewing life. Candice found out a few months before her sister's illness that she was expecting her 4th baby. I've wondered many times why she's going to have another, she has her hands full with cute kids already. Then I wondered if Heavenly Father might have planned it all along because he knew she would need something extra to focus on after losing Jess. Something to look forward to in times when she feels like all is lost.
This morning she is getting ready to welcome Crystal Dawn into the world by way of C-section. At least that will be her first name if Candice has her way. Dawn was Jessica's middle name. I believe her sweet baby literally will bring new dawn to her grieving family.
How can I not trust such a wise and loving Heavenly Father? Why must I always question His intentions? I am grateful for a Father who is infinitely more wise than I am, who does what's best for me even when I fight so hard against it.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Maybe
I'm speechless... I realize those who know me will find this phenomenon hard to believe.
Maybe I'm just too angry. Maybe Ben's right, but that doesn't usually stop me. Maybe it will this time, maybe it won't. Maybe I just need time to perfect what I've already written so I can be sure not to leave anything out. I want things to be perfectly clear. Maybe the things I want to say won't make a difference anyway.
Maybe.
(Only I can say this much and still call it speechless!)
Maybe I'm just too angry. Maybe Ben's right, but that doesn't usually stop me. Maybe it will this time, maybe it won't. Maybe I just need time to perfect what I've already written so I can be sure not to leave anything out. I want things to be perfectly clear. Maybe the things I want to say won't make a difference anyway.
Maybe.
(Only I can say this much and still call it speechless!)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Faith in the Lord, means faith in His timing - Neal A. Maxwell
Patience must be a virtue Heavenly Father still wants me to learn, because I feel like he's made me wait for everything. I found out when I had to wait til I was 25 to marry Heavenly, just how lucky I was that I didn't marry any of those dumb boys I thought would make me happy. I realized that my Father in Heaven knew a lot more about true happiness than I ever did. I look at myself before I met Heavenly and wonder "How on earth did I ever think I was happy?"
You'd think this experience alone would make me realize Heavenly Father might know a thing or two about what is best for me.
Then Ben and I started trying to have a baby. I never had any misgivings about getting pregnant, I didn't think it would happen overnight. The "trying" itself isn't half bad. But 15 months later and still nothing. Oh, we've had times when we thought we were, but still nothing. The last time I was sick every morning, and most of the day, everything hurt more, smells that normally didn't phase me made my stomach churn. I wanted to wait a couple of weeks, at least a week (let's face it I'm not the most patient person) to be sure. But then I got a UTI which wouldn't be a big deal, except it was followed by a kidney infection and a raging fever of 104 degrees for 3 days. After that, no more being sick in the morning. And then the spotting and the bleeding for weeks.
Before I got married it was "Why aren't you married yet?" or "I'll bet you're sad because your younger brother is getting married before you." Now, everywhere I turn someone is asking "When are you and Heavenly going to have kids?" "You don't have any kids yet?" Like it's a crime in Utah to be married for more than a year without getting pregnant. Why do people ask that? Have people become so insensitive that they no longer consider how questions like these might affect a person?
I know people who have been married less time than I've been trying who are already pregnant. And I've heard people trying half as long complain because everyone around them is pregnant, when it's really not the case, and all along they were pregnant anyway. I should be sympathetic, other people have tried much longer than we have and been told it would never happen.
I go to the doctor next week, I guess I'll be talking to her about my irregularity and getting back on the pill. But it makes me sad, like I'm giving up or finally admitting I can't get pregnant so why try? I'm sure some of you have felt the same as me, and many of you have experienced this and more. I know I'm one in a group of many women facing the same issues, many I know are much stronger than I. I feel blessed to know them.
You'd think this experience alone would make me realize Heavenly Father might know a thing or two about what is best for me.
Then Ben and I started trying to have a baby. I never had any misgivings about getting pregnant, I didn't think it would happen overnight. The "trying" itself isn't half bad. But 15 months later and still nothing. Oh, we've had times when we thought we were, but still nothing. The last time I was sick every morning, and most of the day, everything hurt more, smells that normally didn't phase me made my stomach churn. I wanted to wait a couple of weeks, at least a week (let's face it I'm not the most patient person) to be sure. But then I got a UTI which wouldn't be a big deal, except it was followed by a kidney infection and a raging fever of 104 degrees for 3 days. After that, no more being sick in the morning. And then the spotting and the bleeding for weeks.
Before I got married it was "Why aren't you married yet?" or "I'll bet you're sad because your younger brother is getting married before you." Now, everywhere I turn someone is asking "When are you and Heavenly going to have kids?" "You don't have any kids yet?" Like it's a crime in Utah to be married for more than a year without getting pregnant. Why do people ask that? Have people become so insensitive that they no longer consider how questions like these might affect a person?
I know people who have been married less time than I've been trying who are already pregnant. And I've heard people trying half as long complain because everyone around them is pregnant, when it's really not the case, and all along they were pregnant anyway. I should be sympathetic, other people have tried much longer than we have and been told it would never happen.
I go to the doctor next week, I guess I'll be talking to her about my irregularity and getting back on the pill. But it makes me sad, like I'm giving up or finally admitting I can't get pregnant so why try? I'm sure some of you have felt the same as me, and many of you have experienced this and more. I know I'm one in a group of many women facing the same issues, many I know are much stronger than I. I feel blessed to know them.
Monday, January 5, 2009
High wind advisory
On Christmas Eve and into Christmas Day the wind was terrible. I woke up several times during the night because of the wind howling outside my bedroom window. My morning at work was spent watching tumbleweeds and a Rubbermaid container blow around in one of the cameras, and listening as the wind ripped across the roof of our building.
That afternoon we issued a high wind advisory for all of I-80 for high profile vehicles, including, but not limited to, semi trucks and large SUVs. Later, after a semi-truck was blown over by the wind we closed the freeway down entirely to high profile vehicles. A semi-truck or large SUV has a higher center of gravity and therefore it is easily blown over in high winds. Small passenger cars typically are much safer in high wind storms, because of their lower center of gravity.
I've felt like a semi-truck, tossed to and fro on windy freeways of life. Many times I've ignored the warnings and kept going with the gusty currents swirling menacingly ahead. Too many times I've learned the hard way and been knocked on my side.
We too can lower our center of gravity. When the winds of life come howling and you can't take anymore, don't stand.
Kneel.
That afternoon we issued a high wind advisory for all of I-80 for high profile vehicles, including, but not limited to, semi trucks and large SUVs. Later, after a semi-truck was blown over by the wind we closed the freeway down entirely to high profile vehicles. A semi-truck or large SUV has a higher center of gravity and therefore it is easily blown over in high winds. Small passenger cars typically are much safer in high wind storms, because of their lower center of gravity.
I've felt like a semi-truck, tossed to and fro on windy freeways of life. Many times I've ignored the warnings and kept going with the gusty currents swirling menacingly ahead. Too many times I've learned the hard way and been knocked on my side.
We too can lower our center of gravity. When the winds of life come howling and you can't take anymore, don't stand.
Kneel.
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