Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I'm not giving up... just waiting.

Tomorrow I go to the doctor, it's my first follow-up after one failed round of Clomid. See, my body is so messed up that not even medication can make it to what it's supposed to do!

I know she'll want to do blood work to find out if my thyroid is cooperating and responding to the medication I've been taking. She also mentioned that a blood test would be able to show if my body did in fact ovulate while on Clomid. (I don't think it did, at least not properly.)

All of these tests will be conducted to see what the next step in our roller coaster journey through infertility will be. However, I think I've decided on my own step. It's something we discussed before, waiting.

I'm not giving up like so many tell me, (a couple of months ago I would have agreed with them) I'm merely taking appropriate measures to take care of myself. My wonderful sister who is always infinitely more wise than I has told me many times "Taking care of yourself is not selfish." And for once I'm taking her advice. Instead of more regimens of Clomid at higher doses or alternate methods of forcing my uncooperative body into baby-making submission, I am going to take steps to take care of me.

Along with my under active thyroid wreaking havoc, I also have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome which doesn't play nice with fertility. We tried a month of birth control before the first round of Clomid, but it was obviously not enough to "de-cystify my ovaries" as Jamie says. So I'm going to look into Glucophage or Metformin, a pre-diabetes medication which decreases the level of androgens (stuff that produces boy hormones so it makes your body forget it's a girl) produced by the ovaries and adrenal glands. It also helps my body use insulin and may prevent the risk of diabetes. I'm going to take better care of my body by working out and eating healthy.

I fully anticipate all of the same rude questions/comments I already get, "Why don't you have kids?" "Don't you like kids?" "What are you waiting for?" "You won't understand because you don't have kids." "That's not the same as having your own." Blah blah blah!

4 comments:

JAMIE said...

Oh Val, I hate that you are having these roadblocks!! I think Heather's advice is great, definitely do what you can to take care of you.

Here's praying for some answers and some blessings coming your way.

I love you!

kenna said...

That is something I had to learn the hard way. (Taking care of yourself) It wasn't until I had a brain tumor that I realized I wasn't listening to my body's cues. I knew something was wrong long before I was diagnosed, I just brushed it off.

Kudos for you my dear. I know this is hard, I do, but you hang in there. It has to be worth it. For both of us.

Jen Nelson said...

So sorry your first round failed! I agree that it is an excellent idea to take care of yourself!
Clomid can be tricky and sometimes takes a few rounds for your body's "ah-ha!" moment.
Hang in there!

Heather said...

I'm so glad you're taking the time to take care of yourself. You're worth it, no matter what!