I guess because I'm trying to get pregnant I can't get sick without at least one person asking if I'm pregnant. No, I'm not pregnant, and thank you very much for reminding me of that!
It's not bad enough that I have a fever, my ears hurt, my throat hurts, my nose is plugged, I'm nauseated, I think I'd feel better if I just went into the bathroom and upchucked the entire contents of my stomach. To add insult to injury you have to remind me of the fact that I'm sick and don't even have the luxury of getting a baby out of it!
Can I please just be me? When you see me, can you ask me how I'm doing without any hidden meaning? Because you think for some reason that I can't be separated from my infertility? When you ask how things are going... is there any way you can just mean between Heavenly and I, or work or school or whatever?
There are people who get it. To them I'm just me. To them I'm fine and I'm normal and I'm perfectly acceptable exactly as I am. If I never have a child they'll love me exactly as they would if I popped out ten. However, to others, I'm not good enough. I am infertile. I am a miscarriage from 6 months ago that they can't let go. I'm a single pink line on a pregnancy test; I am broken.
Thank you to those who get it. To those who got it 6 months ago when they didn't even know it had started, who got it 3 months ago when they found out (however they found out) and thank you to those who get it still. I love you and would never be able to be normal me without you.
You know who you are.
4 comments:
I love you, Valerie. I hope you feel better REALLY soon, the stomach flu has to be one of the worst sicknesses next to Strep Throat.
You are awesome!
To some people, I think after you are married you can't just get sick. There has to be some other reason. No, you CAN just be sick. Val, I love ya no matter your mood. You are Val.
I hope you get feeling better. Being sick SUCKS! I had laryngitis last month, it was insane! Can you imagine me not talking?! Ugh.
I hope you and Heavenly are doing great. You are two wonderful people!!
People suck. Some more than others.
Hang in there.
p.s. hope you are feeling better.
Thank you for getting it.
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