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Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Christmas is about the Christ
In these precious moments we realize what we feel and know in our heart—that Christmas is really about the Christ.
Christmas and some of the cherished traditions of the season remind us that we, like the Wise Men of old, should seek the Christ and lay before Him the most precious of gifts: a broken heart and a contrite spirit. We should offer Him our love. We should give Him our willingness to take upon ourselves His name and walk in the path of discipleship. We should promise to remember Him always, to emulate His example, and to go about doing good. 1
We cannot offer Him the gift of perfection in all things because this is a gift beyond our capacity to give—at least for now. The Lord does not expect that we commit to move mountains. But He does require that we bring as gifts our best efforts to move ourselves, one foot in front of the other, walking in the ways He has prepared and taught.
And what are the Savior’s gifts to those who are willing to bring these gifts to Him?
This may be the most one-sided gift exchange in the history of the universe. The Savior’s gifts to us are breathtaking.
Let us begin with immortality. Because the Savior overcame death, all men and women—both the just and the unjust—will live forever. 2
Then, forgiveness—even though our sins and imperfections be as scarlet, they can become white as snow because of Him. 3
And finally, eternal life—the greatest gift of all. 4 Because of the Atonement of Christ, not only are we guaranteed an infinite quantity of life, but He offers the possibility of an unimaginable quality of life as well. 5
Some of His divine gifts are reserved for that glorious future day when we return to His presence.
But He extends many gifts and His grace to us every day. He promises to be with us, to come to us when we need comfort, 6 to lift us when we stumble, to carry us if needed, to mourn and rejoice with us. Every day He offers to take us by the hand and help transform ordinary life into extraordinary spiritual experiences.
Of Curtains, Contentment, and Christmas
By: President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
2011 First Presidency Christmas Devotional (2011)
Christmas and some of the cherished traditions of the season remind us that we, like the Wise Men of old, should seek the Christ and lay before Him the most precious of gifts: a broken heart and a contrite spirit. We should offer Him our love. We should give Him our willingness to take upon ourselves His name and walk in the path of discipleship. We should promise to remember Him always, to emulate His example, and to go about doing good. 1
We cannot offer Him the gift of perfection in all things because this is a gift beyond our capacity to give—at least for now. The Lord does not expect that we commit to move mountains. But He does require that we bring as gifts our best efforts to move ourselves, one foot in front of the other, walking in the ways He has prepared and taught.
And what are the Savior’s gifts to those who are willing to bring these gifts to Him?
This may be the most one-sided gift exchange in the history of the universe. The Savior’s gifts to us are breathtaking.
Let us begin with immortality. Because the Savior overcame death, all men and women—both the just and the unjust—will live forever. 2
Then, forgiveness—even though our sins and imperfections be as scarlet, they can become white as snow because of Him. 3
And finally, eternal life—the greatest gift of all. 4 Because of the Atonement of Christ, not only are we guaranteed an infinite quantity of life, but He offers the possibility of an unimaginable quality of life as well. 5
Some of His divine gifts are reserved for that glorious future day when we return to His presence.
But He extends many gifts and His grace to us every day. He promises to be with us, to come to us when we need comfort, 6 to lift us when we stumble, to carry us if needed, to mourn and rejoice with us. Every day He offers to take us by the hand and help transform ordinary life into extraordinary spiritual experiences.
Of Curtains, Contentment, and Christmas
By: President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
2011 First Presidency Christmas Devotional (2011)
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Insight from a hooker...
I've been thinking a lot lately (and not-so lately) about self esteem and body image. It's terrible how closely and how often the two are linked in our society of unrealistic role models with their perfectly air-brushed everything.
This thinking has had me thinking this morning, of a line from a movie. My mom is always teasing me because I know nearly every line of every movie I watch by heart, basically the first time I've seen it. I think, while she would use it differently, that she's secretly jealous of my freakishly, amazing memory recall.
Here's the scene, pay close attention to the last line, it's the most important:
Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe.
-- IMDb Quotes: Pretty Woman (1990)
How true it is that we begin to believe what is said, and how sad that in my case (and I suspect a great many others' as well) I am usually the first and loudest proponent of my own "bad stuff."
Despite my husband's valiant efforts to convince my over and over of my beauty and self worth, I'm bombarded with "bad stuff" making it difficult to ignore.
Today, I'm going to make a goal to think and say more good stuff about myself.
I hope you'll do the same for yourself.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
This thinking has had me thinking this morning, of a line from a movie. My mom is always teasing me because I know nearly every line of every movie I watch by heart, basically the first time I've seen it. I think, while she would use it differently, that she's secretly jealous of my freakishly, amazing memory recall.
Here's the scene, pay close attention to the last line, it's the most important:
Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe.
-- IMDb Quotes: Pretty Woman (1990)
How true it is that we begin to believe what is said, and how sad that in my case (and I suspect a great many others' as well) I am usually the first and loudest proponent of my own "bad stuff."
Despite my husband's valiant efforts to convince my over and over of my beauty and self worth, I'm bombarded with "bad stuff" making it difficult to ignore.
Today, I'm going to make a goal to think and say more good stuff about myself.
I hope you'll do the same for yourself.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Random Truths
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
- There is great need for a sarcasm font.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work (and at home for me) when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
- "Do not machine wash" or "Do not tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever!
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer, drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
- I keep some phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer.
- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
- I would rather try to carry ten, over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring in my groceries.
- The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- how many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
- Is it just me or do high school kids get smaller and smaller each year?
- There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Cookie Decorating 101
Between this book I just bought:
And this mind-blowingly AMAZING tip:
I'm in the mood to make cookies!!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
...my little football man...
I've never seen a little boy so excited about sports (so young) in general, but he especially digs football. He claps as soon as it comes on TV and watches happily with his uncle and his daddy. Not counting Cars, it's probably his favorite thing to watch.
Last week he went with us to the high school homecoming game. Here he is with his daddy, ready to go.
I found his super cute "Just try and tackle me" shirt in St. George while we were there a few weeks ago, I couldn't resist.
He sat on the steps with his cousins. (I wish I'd gotten a picture of him with Spencer who doted on him the entire time.)
He clapped, pointed, oohed and aahed enthusiastically nearly the entire game.
The rest of these pictures are how I found him tonight (In the super soft, comfy jammies bought for him by Uncle Jared) at Grandma's house. He was excited to see me, but only so long as I didn't interfere with the game. When I paused it, he squealed and kept squealing until I let him watch the game again. 
(As you can see, he's still pointing enthusiastically)
I don't know about you, but to me, this looks like the very picture of relaxation.
I love this little man. I can't help but smile when I see how his face glows. For football. For Cars, (which is why we've watched it no less than 50 times in the last week). At the discovery of so many things, new to him. Even in the depths of depression which still haunt so many of my days and nights, I can't help but smile. I thank my Father in Heaven every single day for my joyful, football watching, miracle boy.
Last week he went with us to the high school homecoming game. Here he is with his daddy, ready to go.
I found his super cute "Just try and tackle me" shirt in St. George while we were there a few weeks ago, I couldn't resist.
He sat on the steps with his cousins. (I wish I'd gotten a picture of him with Spencer who doted on him the entire time.)
He clapped, pointed, oohed and aahed enthusiastically nearly the entire game.
The rest of these pictures are how I found him tonight (In the super soft, comfy jammies bought for him by Uncle Jared) at Grandma's house. He was excited to see me, but only so long as I didn't interfere with the game. When I paused it, he squealed and kept squealing until I let him watch the game again. 
(As you can see, he's still pointing enthusiastically)
I don't know about you, but to me, this looks like the very picture of relaxation.
I love this little man. I can't help but smile when I see how his face glows. For football. For Cars, (which is why we've watched it no less than 50 times in the last week). At the discovery of so many things, new to him. Even in the depths of depression which still haunt so many of my days and nights, I can't help but smile. I thank my Father in Heaven every single day for my joyful, football watching, miracle boy.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Housework - Gag!
I was recently directed here from a comment thread on another blog, I read the post I'd been directed to; it's great, I highly recommend it. Then, I skimmed the side bar for anything of interest.
This popped out at me. Gag, is certainly one of the first reactions that comes to mind when I think of housework. That or cringe.
Then I conveniently think of something I need at the store, and while I'm at the store I decide we should go to Salt Lake and watch a movie or go to dinner. And I end up eating too much, including dessert. So when I get home, I'm a little fatter and my house is still dirty.
I don't know that I'll even go to the website she suggests in this post (if it still exists), but I really loved the suggestions she listed. Here they are for those of you who either don't want to go to the other site, or don't know how. (Don't be offended, I'm totally talking to my mom and she knows it!)
"You can't organize clutter; you have to get rid of it! In order to find peace in your home the clutter has to find a new place to reside.
Release your clutter. Spend just 15 minutes a day de-cluttering. When you bring home something new; get rid of something old."
Another thing she says is keep your kitchen sink clean ALL THE TIME. And it's amazing what a difference this one chore makes.
Her basic mantra is that we have to have routines/habits in place. If we don't, we can spend all day cleaning then the place just gets messy again immediately. But if we've developed routines/habits that we do almost automatically, we can keep the mess at bay.
Here is my daily schedule (to quote from an article I once wrote): think of it as B,B,C,D,F, which sounds like a poor report card but which stands for: Bed (make it), Bathroom (a quick swish and swipe while you're in there getting ready), Clutter (quick pick-up, especially working on the "hot spots" that gather stuff to them--I do this pretty much all day), Dishes (keeping the sink clean and empty), and Floors (sweep daily). There are many other chores we have to do of course (for example, she also talks about conquering Mount Washmore), but even if I do only these five things every day, I can keep the appearance of a tidy home and not panic if someone comes over unexpectedly.
Housework is a huge obstacle in my life, it's gotten to the point where I've quit even trying to stay afloat and just let myself sink below the surface. I'm hoping that this gem of a discovery will help me find a place to start.
This popped out at me. Gag, is certainly one of the first reactions that comes to mind when I think of housework. That or cringe.
Then I conveniently think of something I need at the store, and while I'm at the store I decide we should go to Salt Lake and watch a movie or go to dinner. And I end up eating too much, including dessert. So when I get home, I'm a little fatter and my house is still dirty.
I don't know that I'll even go to the website she suggests in this post (if it still exists), but I really loved the suggestions she listed. Here they are for those of you who either don't want to go to the other site, or don't know how. (Don't be offended, I'm totally talking to my mom and she knows it!)
"You can't organize clutter; you have to get rid of it! In order to find peace in your home the clutter has to find a new place to reside.
Release your clutter. Spend just 15 minutes a day de-cluttering. When you bring home something new; get rid of something old."
Another thing she says is keep your kitchen sink clean ALL THE TIME. And it's amazing what a difference this one chore makes.
Her basic mantra is that we have to have routines/habits in place. If we don't, we can spend all day cleaning then the place just gets messy again immediately. But if we've developed routines/habits that we do almost automatically, we can keep the mess at bay.
Here is my daily schedule (to quote from an article I once wrote): think of it as B,B,C,D,F, which sounds like a poor report card but which stands for: Bed (make it), Bathroom (a quick swish and swipe while you're in there getting ready), Clutter (quick pick-up, especially working on the "hot spots" that gather stuff to them--I do this pretty much all day), Dishes (keeping the sink clean and empty), and Floors (sweep daily). There are many other chores we have to do of course (for example, she also talks about conquering Mount Washmore), but even if I do only these five things every day, I can keep the appearance of a tidy home and not panic if someone comes over unexpectedly.
Housework is a huge obstacle in my life, it's gotten to the point where I've quit even trying to stay afloat and just let myself sink below the surface. I'm hoping that this gem of a discovery will help me find a place to start.
Monday, September 26, 2011
... eat drink and be merry ...
... for tomorrow I start the Weight Watchers online program!
This is yet another step in my journey toward a happier, healthier me.
This is yet another step in my journey toward a happier, healthier me.
A friend of the furry persuasion.
I came back from my break to find that we had a new friend in dispatch. Wish I could keep him. He's super cute and (although also very high energy) very well behaved.
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Look at that face!!
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Monday, September 5, 2011
Back on the wagon again!
Confession...
Several months ago I made a couple of goals, kick the caffeine and run on the treadmill. I don't think I made it a week. Weak, right? I know.
I've decided (and this has been coming for quite a long time) that something drastic has got to change. In my experience, for anything drastic to change, I have to be held accountable, to myself at the very least. So, I'll be checking in here at least once a month, but hopefully more like once a week. I'll list how I've done on my goals and track the progress I'm making.
I've acquired a couple of things to help me on my way. First, I bought these...
Several months ago I made a couple of goals, kick the caffeine and run on the treadmill. I don't think I made it a week. Weak, right? I know.
I've decided (and this has been coming for quite a long time) that something drastic has got to change. In my experience, for anything drastic to change, I have to be held accountable, to myself at the very least. So, I'll be checking in here at least once a month, but hopefully more like once a week. I'll list how I've done on my goals and track the progress I'm making.
I've acquired a couple of things to help me on my way. First, I bought these...
from Strive Running Co. My dad found a jogging stroller for us at a killer price... $5, killer! And since Heavenly is in the academy he needs to be running more than the 10+ miles/week he's already been running, I've got myself a running partner.
One of my co-workers made the decision to quit drinking soda pop starting today and I decided that'd be a great time for me to do the same. He bought us these...
Saturday, August 27, 2011
9 tips for surviving rough times with a smile
I found this article here. I loved this advice, I hope it helps you too.
Question:
How do people stay positive when things are really rough? I know we can’t be the only family struggling to keep our heads above water. Could you give us any tips for getting through the discouragement? How can we stay happy in the face of huge setbacks and problems?
Answer:
I’m so glad you asked this question because you are definitely not alone. Most families are experiencing some fear and stress about their situations right now.
Here are nine tips for surviving rough times with a smile.
1. Understand that even if you can't control outside circumstances, you can decide how you want to experience them. Since negativity will get you nowhere, choose a positive attitude even if it’s ridiculously optimistic. Refuse to dwell in fear.
Consciously choose to trust that you will make it through and gain strength and wisdom from this experience. Every situation makes you a better person and this one will serve you in some way. Choose to believe good things are coming. They might be – you don’t know what’s around the next corner and it’s more enjoyable to expect the best than the worst.
2. Remember this won’t last forever. Life is cyclical and you will always have your ups and downs. Life is a beautiful mix of blessings and challenges. Whether things are good or bad, it won’t last forever. Decide to accept the impermanent nature of life. Those who expect it to always be easy will always be disappointed. Try to embrace the difficult times as a perfect and inevitable part of your journey.
3. Hang out with positive people. Avoid negative people who wallow in their stories of woe. Misery loves company but it doesn’t have to be yours. Choose to associate with people who think positive. Make friends with people who are problem solvers and motivated to create good things in their lives. It will rub off on you.
4. Read encouraging, uplifting books and listen to upbeat, happy music. Choose books that give you a fresh perspective on life and music that makes you want to dance. A library card and listening to the radio are both free. The personal development author and speaker Og Mandino wrote about the night his life fell apart. He thought about killing himself but decided to go to the library instead. He read every book he could find on positive thinking and it changed his life. It could change yours.
5. Start a gratitude journal. Focus on what you do have. Enjoy even the smallest of blessings and treasure every simple happy moment. Take time each day to write down five things you are grateful for. You’ll be amazed at how blessed you really are.
6. Work on your spirituality. Research shows that those who practice faith and maintain a relationship with God live longer and more satisfying lives. Turn your worries over to a higher power and practice faith.
7. Laugh as much as possible. Laugh together as a family. Watch funny movies, read joke books and keep your sense of humor alive. Watch "Wipeout" or "America's Funniest Home Videos." For some reason watching other people fail really cheers you up. When we were struggling we often laughed about just how bad off we were. We had nothing more to lose so we just had to laugh at it.
8. Reach out to others who are worse off than you. Get your focus off your own problems. Perform acts of service. Find a place to volunteer. Service will change your perspective. You will feel better right away.
9. Get some help. A little professional help could make a huge difference especially if you are feeling depressed. You are in charge of your destiny so get some help to change the course of your life. There are many life coaches, counselors and therapists in your area to call on.
"A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change. Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us." - Earl Nightingale
Kimberly Giles is the founder and president of LDS Life Coaching and www.claritypointcoaching.com. She is a sought after life coach who has a popular radio show LIFEadvice on Utah's AM 1430 Saturday Mornings at 8 a.m. MST
Question:
How do people stay positive when things are really rough? I know we can’t be the only family struggling to keep our heads above water. Could you give us any tips for getting through the discouragement? How can we stay happy in the face of huge setbacks and problems?
Answer:
I’m so glad you asked this question because you are definitely not alone. Most families are experiencing some fear and stress about their situations right now.
Here are nine tips for surviving rough times with a smile.
1. Understand that even if you can't control outside circumstances, you can decide how you want to experience them. Since negativity will get you nowhere, choose a positive attitude even if it’s ridiculously optimistic. Refuse to dwell in fear.
Consciously choose to trust that you will make it through and gain strength and wisdom from this experience. Every situation makes you a better person and this one will serve you in some way. Choose to believe good things are coming. They might be – you don’t know what’s around the next corner and it’s more enjoyable to expect the best than the worst.
2. Remember this won’t last forever. Life is cyclical and you will always have your ups and downs. Life is a beautiful mix of blessings and challenges. Whether things are good or bad, it won’t last forever. Decide to accept the impermanent nature of life. Those who expect it to always be easy will always be disappointed. Try to embrace the difficult times as a perfect and inevitable part of your journey.
3. Hang out with positive people. Avoid negative people who wallow in their stories of woe. Misery loves company but it doesn’t have to be yours. Choose to associate with people who think positive. Make friends with people who are problem solvers and motivated to create good things in their lives. It will rub off on you.
4. Read encouraging, uplifting books and listen to upbeat, happy music. Choose books that give you a fresh perspective on life and music that makes you want to dance. A library card and listening to the radio are both free. The personal development author and speaker Og Mandino wrote about the night his life fell apart. He thought about killing himself but decided to go to the library instead. He read every book he could find on positive thinking and it changed his life. It could change yours.
5. Start a gratitude journal. Focus on what you do have. Enjoy even the smallest of blessings and treasure every simple happy moment. Take time each day to write down five things you are grateful for. You’ll be amazed at how blessed you really are.
6. Work on your spirituality. Research shows that those who practice faith and maintain a relationship with God live longer and more satisfying lives. Turn your worries over to a higher power and practice faith.
7. Laugh as much as possible. Laugh together as a family. Watch funny movies, read joke books and keep your sense of humor alive. Watch "Wipeout" or "America's Funniest Home Videos." For some reason watching other people fail really cheers you up. When we were struggling we often laughed about just how bad off we were. We had nothing more to lose so we just had to laugh at it.
8. Reach out to others who are worse off than you. Get your focus off your own problems. Perform acts of service. Find a place to volunteer. Service will change your perspective. You will feel better right away.
9. Get some help. A little professional help could make a huge difference especially if you are feeling depressed. You are in charge of your destiny so get some help to change the course of your life. There are many life coaches, counselors and therapists in your area to call on.
"A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change. Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us." - Earl Nightingale
Kimberly Giles is the founder and president of LDS Life Coaching and www.claritypointcoaching.com. She is a sought after life coach who has a popular radio show LIFEadvice on Utah's AM 1430 Saturday Mornings at 8 a.m. MST
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Combatting ignorance and insensitivity with humor...
When Heavenly and I got married we were plagued with questions about when we would start a family. I mean from the very beginning!
My favorite was my father-in-law, bless his meddling heart... every time we visited (which in the beginning was quite frequently) he would ask me "Are you trying to get pregnant yet? Are you trying yet?" I honestly don't know how I responded at first, all I can remember is blushing. I don't embarrass easily, anyone who knows me can attest to that. Seriously, I think your father-in-law poking his nose into your sex life is a little much, even for me!
Finally, after his asking sent me over the edge, this was my response:
"Every day, twice a day!" Guess who blushed that time, and has NEVER asked again?!
Just in case you didn't know, asking a couple (even if they're not struggling with infertility) when they're planning to have children (planning to have children... pshh, don't make me laugh!!) or why they don't have any children yet or any other derivative of "Are you trying to get pregnant," IS PRYING INTO THEIR SEX LIFE!! Get. A. Clue!
My favorite was my father-in-law, bless his meddling heart... every time we visited (which in the beginning was quite frequently) he would ask me "Are you trying to get pregnant yet? Are you trying yet?" I honestly don't know how I responded at first, all I can remember is blushing. I don't embarrass easily, anyone who knows me can attest to that. Seriously, I think your father-in-law poking his nose into your sex life is a little much, even for me!
Finally, after his asking sent me over the edge, this was my response:
"Every day, twice a day!" Guess who blushed that time, and has NEVER asked again?!
Just in case you didn't know, asking a couple (even if they're not struggling with infertility) when they're planning to have children (planning to have children... pshh, don't make me laugh!!) or why they don't have any children yet or any other derivative of "Are you trying to get pregnant," IS PRYING INTO THEIR SEX LIFE!! Get. A. Clue!
I don't walk up to couples with several children and say, "Man, you guys must f*** like rabbits!" First of all, it's none of my business. Secondly it's just inappropriate!
Why is it that everyone reading this post knows how inappropriate that last sentence was, but 98% of those people who are offended will be shocked that I think asking a couple when they're planning to get pregnant is equally inappropriate? Perhaps if I added a four-letter word to any of my examples of are-you-trying questions, everyone would recognize how tactless they really are.
My mom always tells me I'm a mixture of spirituality and spunky irreverence, and somehow it works. So, here's my attempt at restoring balance by ending this mostly irreverent post on a spiritual note...
I found the following quote, regarding birth control, from the LDS Church Handbook very fitting in this instance. You can find it here.
"It is the privilege of married couples who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for the spirit children of God, whom they are then responsible to nurture and rear. The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter.
Married couples should also understand that sexual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a way of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife.
Recognize that sex, for couples struggling with infertility, becomes much more chore/job-like, a "have to" rather than a "want to." Romance and sexual pleasure take a back seat to things like basal body temperatures, ovulation charts and properly timed/scheduled intercourse to name only a few.
Check out http://www.ldsinfertility.org/ for facts and suggestions of ways you can support your friends and members of your family who may be struggling to cope with infertility and/or sterility.
Pray. Pray for your friend or family member. And, pray for yourself so that you can be guided to be, to say, and to do those things that most effectively build your relationship with those you love who are dealing with such a hard trial. I know you will be inspired. I have seen it work many times.
Be careful about the comments you make.
1. Acknowledging that you don't know what to say or how to say it can be most effective. Followed by an "I really want you to know that I care about you. I sometimes just don't know what to say. What can I do that will be helpful to you?"
2. Focus on the person you are talking to. We often bring up stories about someone else or about an experience we had, simply because it is what we are familiar with and because it fills the conversation.
3. Be simple. Use only a few words. Write them down and review them before the conversation. If you open the door, your friend will talk if they feel comfortable.
4. Making light of or joking about infertility can be offensive. Some couples joke about their situations, but let them be the ones to initiate that type of conversation.
Life is not all about conceiving, giving birth, and raising children. Have conversations around infertile couples that are related to things other than families. It is hard to be in an environment where everyone is talking about breast-feeding and you have no way of relating. We would probably all benefit from conversing about more varied topics.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Hurtful Headlines...
Jay Leno...
...it's been a few weeks, I wanted to give this some time to see if your un-funny headline really bothers me as badly as it originally did. The fact that I'm coming back to this post tells me it does.
While watching "Headlines" on The Late Show with Jay Leno with my co-workers I was appalled to hear an infertility related joke. (Insert second thoughts about the off-color jokes I think are humorous and the times I've laughed at the expense of someone else's misfortunes ____________ <---here.) I should be more thick skinned, I think I used to be, but it feels like I hear snide comments and jokes about infertility and sterility at every turn. Mostly from people who know what I've gone through and SHOULD know better. It makes me wonder why someone's inability to conceive is such a laughing matter. The truth is, I'm sensitive. Still.
So without further ado, here's the offensive Headline that's had me stewing for weeks:
"Children not likely to inherit infertility"
--This, of course, resulted in raucous laughter from my co-workers who I'm sure meant no offense and likely had no idea how hurtful this was to me.
Even my initial reaction was only annoyance that anyone could think that infertility is not hereditary. Then it hit me, BAM like lightning... the reason it got such a reaction had nothing to do with infertility's likelihood to be passed to offspring. And everything to do with the likelihood that there will be NO children in the event of infertility.
When I mentioned it to my mom she tried to get me to calm down by pointing out that it was 'worded funny and that's what makes it comical.' I love my dear mother, she's continually trying to get me to relax and to not take things so personally. Poor thing, it's a full time job! And probably a hopeless effort at that.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Sleepy conversations with Heavenly...
Heavenly has told me stories about his youngest brother talking in his sleep when they were young. He and his closest brother, Studly, asked questions and laughed at his nonsensical answers.
Well... this morning I woke up to the sound of Heavenly laughing.
Me: "What's so funny?"
Heavenly: "The train."
Me: (Giggling to myself because I'm currently addicted to an app called 'Rail Rush' and wonder if I'm the reason he's dreaming of trains.) "What's so funny about the train?"
Heavenly: "It does go back that far."
Me: "How far back does it go?"
Heavenly: "14... er, 16."
Me: "Who are you talking to?"
(no response)
Me: "Who are you talking to?"
Heavenly (now half awake): "Myself apparently."
Ha ha ha ha ha! Now Heavenly can no longer tell stories of teasing his brother for his dreamy conversations.
He rarely remembers anything he does while he's asleep. I got a black eye just after we were married from a wildly swinging elbow. He had no recollection of hitting me, waking up and telling me he was sorry, or kissing me better. But I'll be sure he remembers this!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Well... this morning I woke up to the sound of Heavenly laughing.
Me: "What's so funny?"
Heavenly: "The train."
Me: (Giggling to myself because I'm currently addicted to an app called 'Rail Rush' and wonder if I'm the reason he's dreaming of trains.) "What's so funny about the train?"
Heavenly: "It does go back that far."
Me: "How far back does it go?"
Heavenly: "14... er, 16."
Me: "Who are you talking to?"
(no response)
Me: "Who are you talking to?"
Heavenly (now half awake): "Myself apparently."
Ha ha ha ha ha! Now Heavenly can no longer tell stories of teasing his brother for his dreamy conversations.
He rarely remembers anything he does while he's asleep. I got a black eye just after we were married from a wildly swinging elbow. He had no recollection of hitting me, waking up and telling me he was sorry, or kissing me better. But I'll be sure he remembers this!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
A project with a smile...
While at my cousin's house a couple of weeks ago I saw, and fell in love with this adorable craft...
... and so I am making this my (our) project. I've started a list of what makes our sweet family smile.
Here are just a few:
Open mouth (Little Houston) kisses
Playdates with Harley
Sunshine
Super hero shirts
Baxter (Grandpa's poodle)
Red Robin... Yum!
The smell of rain
Binkies
Uncle Jared (Little Houston absolutely adores his Uncle Jared and I think the feeling's mutual)
Temples
Houston, TX
I'm excited for this project that is all about focusing on blessings and happy things that surround and influence us.
So, I want to know... What makes you (and/or your family) smile?
Leave a comment. Let me know.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
... and so I am making this my (our) project. I've started a list of what makes our sweet family smile.
Here are just a few:
Open mouth (Little Houston) kisses
Playdates with Harley
Sunshine
Super hero shirts
Baxter (Grandpa's poodle)
Red Robin... Yum!
The smell of rain
Binkies
Uncle Jared (Little Houston absolutely adores his Uncle Jared and I think the feeling's mutual)
Temples
Houston, TX
I'm excited for this project that is all about focusing on blessings and happy things that surround and influence us.
So, I want to know... What makes you (and/or your family) smile?
Leave a comment. Let me know.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The Gospel is the good news!
Today is Easter Sunday and while I worked last night and spent my morning sleeping rather than attending church with my family, I have been pondering this holiday season for weeks.
Tonight my goal is to finish reading "Behold The Man" the last book in a series called The Kingdom and the Crown, by Gerald Lund. This will be my third or perhaps even my fourth time through the series which follows the lives of a fictitious family in Israel who become followers of Christ and chronicles the life and ministry of our Savior during in His final days.
You may be asking yourself why I need to set a goal to finish a book from a series I've read so many times. Or maybe you would ask that, if you knew that it's been in my work locker for over a month. This time through I think that focusing on the crucifixion and death of the Savior has caused me to be apprehensive and left me unable to read those agonizing chapters.
Judas' betrayal of the Savior, after Gethsemane (Matt 26:48-49) which led Him to be tried, unjustly by the Great Sanhedrin before being delivered into the hands of the Romans. The Sanhedrin found him guilty of blasphemy, knowing the Romans would never put him to death for it, they told Pilate He was guilty of treason, stirring up contentions among His followers which would surely lead to conflict. Pilate, who found "no fault in this man," gave in to the throng of people who had gathered at the Antonia Fortress crying "Crucify him, crucify him." Roman soldiers mocked Him and whipped Him, they fashioned a crown of thorns and placed it cruelly on His head. Christ was then raised upon a cross by stakes driven through His feet and hands. The small notch of wood was of little comfort, placed so that sitting took pressure from a prisoner's feet, but inflicted tremendous pressure and pain on the chest. In His agony He cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli lama sabachthani? that is to say, 'My god, my god, why hast thou forsaken me?' (Matt 27:46) And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost. (Luke 23:46)
That was the bad news.
In Gethsemane, Christ performed the initial act of His atoning sacrifice. He prayed to The Father, taking upon himself the sins and sufferings of the World. The pain was so great it caused Him, even the son of God, to sweat "as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground." (Luke 22:40-44)
(John 20:1-2,11-18) On the third day after Christ's crucifixion, He appeared to Mary Magdalene when she sought Him at the tomb where they had laid Him. "Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my bretheren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God." In an upper room in Jerusalum, He appeared to His disciples. They saw and felt the marks on His body. (Luke 24:39) He said to them, "Behold my hands and my feet, that it is myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have."
At a garden called Gethsemane He offered Himself as a sacrifice for sin and sorrow. He suffered pain which caused Him to bleed from every pore. Most importantly, with that suffering, He broke the bonds of sin and sorrow.
On a hill called Calvary at a place called Golgotha, He laid down His life. But most importantly, on the third day, He took it up again, to bring to pass the resurrection of the dead. His resurrection broke the bonds of death. He lives. He lives so that we may live again.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16) And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day. (John 6:40)
And this, this is the good news!
more on my religion HERE
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Goals!
Run on the treadmill 4-5 times each week.
Stop drinking caffeine and hopefully soda pop altogether.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Stop drinking caffeine and hopefully soda pop altogether.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Writer's block
This is my phenomenal sister, whom I affectionately call Haha!
And this is the certificate she got for winning a national poetry contest.
And now maybe you know why I have just a bit of writer's block. How do you compete with such incredible talent?
The truth is: You don't!
I learned long ago that it was no good to compare myself to her. It's not that I think I can never measure up to her. (although literarily speaking... I'll never compare! Is literarily even a word? Oh well, it is now!)
We're just different. Wonderfully, beautifully, uniquely different.
I was once asked during an interview with a member of my bishopric which one of us is the better singer. I said, without a moment's hesitation: "We both are. We have completely different vocal ranges. She's a much better soprano, and I'm a much better alto."
(For having writer's block I'm rather wordy!)
Since she told me about her award I've been dying to write something about it. Something to tell you (my half dozen or so readers... if there are even that many) how wonderful she is. I'm always dying for others to know just how incredible she is, and for her to know how insanely lucky I am to be related to her. The words just never seem to be enough. (Especially now that I'm writing these lackluster words about a soon-to-be-published author!) But however inadequate it may be, I'd rather write it poorly than not tell her at all.
Congratulations to my beautiful, wonderful, spacey, terrific, brilliant, sensational sister! I'm so honored to be your sister. And even more blessed to have you as my friend.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
I wanna getaway!
Key music, "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz...
I want to get away,
I want to fly away
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Why do I want to get away, do you ask? Sigh. It's March in Utah. What does that mean? Snow. Not the kind of storm that causes me to have to make 3 attempts to get into my snowy driveway, or hope for the love of everything holy that the other drivers sharing the roadway with me remember how to drive in the snow because it's been a few days, kind of storms. But still, there's nothing worse than waking up on the 3rd day of spring and finding this:
Okay, maybe I'm being dramatic. A little. It's been nearly a week since the official first day of Spring. I'm sitting at my computer and finding myself longing for a getaway. For the beach. For this:
Sigh, and this:
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Please do not adjust your computer...
I love food coloring! Not just for St. Patrick's Day, but anytime. St. Patty's is just a day when I don't have to decide which color to choose.
For St. Patrick's Day I made GREEN velvet cake from scratch, yum!!
Then I found hot pink bread at Maceys and had to buy it.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
For St. Patrick's Day I made GREEN velvet cake from scratch, yum!!
Then I found hot pink bread at Maceys and had to buy it.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, February 25, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Be ye therefore helpful
In my own experience with infertility and loss, I have been buoyed up by the compassion of those around me who knew little more than the fact that I seemed "down." However, I have heard hurtful, insensitive words come from those who were privy to more intimate details.
I read a great post here about helping vs. hurtful hands. I have a very specific idea of who should read this, unfortunately I have no control over who actually will. And even if they do, they'll likely not understand it's meant for them. And if they do know I'm referring to them, they still won't acknowledge they have reason to read it. Nevertheless, I hope, whoever you are, this will help you to understand the necessity for genuine, caring concern and sensitivity when dealing with the feelings and healing of others.
If you know someone who has experienced miscarriage or loss of any kind, you must be sensitive to their needs. Don't know how? Here are a few things I've found helpful:
Independence --Let your loved one dictate the terms of their own grief process, including the type of support they receive and the amount of details they share and its duration. Remember loss is experienced differently by all. No one person can or should decide for others how long it will take or how it should be expressed. Because your grief is best eased by surrounding yourself with family who know exactly what you've experienced, does not make it so for everyone. All loss is personal, miscarriage and pregnancy loss is especially personal and so too are the emotions which accompany such a loss.
Prayer --One of the best and most supportive ways to love your friend or family member through this trying time, is through prayer. Your loved one may be reluctant to confide the intimate and painful details, but our Heavenly Father knows each one of their needs, often better than even they can know. Who better to petition for assistance than one who has descended below all things, who suffered and understands their physical and emotional stings so perfectly? Oft times as I pray a friend or loved one enters my thoughts and I will ask that our Heavenly Father will bless them and help them with whatever needs they might have. I am confident that His omniscience is sufficient to know them just as certainly as I know He knows me.
Time --Many times all that is needed, that you can give, is time. In my own experience I've found this to be the most difficult for some. Grief is messy and uncomfortable, someone else's pain can at times seem burdensome and unbearable. No matter how long it lasts, you should try to be understanding. I was lucky enough to have a neighbor tell me when I was pregnant that having a baby minimizes but does not take the pain completely away. Some have said to me "You have a baby now, isn't it time to get over that already?" I'm not! I spent the anniversary of my most recent miscarriage laying in bed snuggling my sweet 1 month old baby and sobbing. Those emotions may have been compounded by the fact that I couldn't ignore it and let it quietly pass me by as I'd intended. Instead we received a message early that morning that our friend would be going to the hospital to have her baby. I'm grateful for my sweet husband who held me and cared for that sweet baby in moments when I was too paralyzed by my own grief. I'm getting there, and I'll make it... but on my own terms.
Be patient and love us through it.
I read a great post here about helping vs. hurtful hands. I have a very specific idea of who should read this, unfortunately I have no control over who actually will. And even if they do, they'll likely not understand it's meant for them. And if they do know I'm referring to them, they still won't acknowledge they have reason to read it. Nevertheless, I hope, whoever you are, this will help you to understand the necessity for genuine, caring concern and sensitivity when dealing with the feelings and healing of others.
If you know someone who has experienced miscarriage or loss of any kind, you must be sensitive to their needs. Don't know how? Here are a few things I've found helpful:
Independence --Let your loved one dictate the terms of their own grief process, including the type of support they receive and the amount of details they share and its duration. Remember loss is experienced differently by all. No one person can or should decide for others how long it will take or how it should be expressed. Because your grief is best eased by surrounding yourself with family who know exactly what you've experienced, does not make it so for everyone. All loss is personal, miscarriage and pregnancy loss is especially personal and so too are the emotions which accompany such a loss.
Prayer --One of the best and most supportive ways to love your friend or family member through this trying time, is through prayer. Your loved one may be reluctant to confide the intimate and painful details, but our Heavenly Father knows each one of their needs, often better than even they can know. Who better to petition for assistance than one who has descended below all things, who suffered and understands their physical and emotional stings so perfectly? Oft times as I pray a friend or loved one enters my thoughts and I will ask that our Heavenly Father will bless them and help them with whatever needs they might have. I am confident that His omniscience is sufficient to know them just as certainly as I know He knows me.
Time --Many times all that is needed, that you can give, is time. In my own experience I've found this to be the most difficult for some. Grief is messy and uncomfortable, someone else's pain can at times seem burdensome and unbearable. No matter how long it lasts, you should try to be understanding. I was lucky enough to have a neighbor tell me when I was pregnant that having a baby minimizes but does not take the pain completely away. Some have said to me "You have a baby now, isn't it time to get over that already?" I'm not! I spent the anniversary of my most recent miscarriage laying in bed snuggling my sweet 1 month old baby and sobbing. Those emotions may have been compounded by the fact that I couldn't ignore it and let it quietly pass me by as I'd intended. Instead we received a message early that morning that our friend would be going to the hospital to have her baby. I'm grateful for my sweet husband who held me and cared for that sweet baby in moments when I was too paralyzed by my own grief. I'm getting there, and I'll make it... but on my own terms.
Be patient and love us through it.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Hand me down memories
I found these warm jammies in a box of 3-6 month hand me downs yesterday. It seems like only yesterday I snuggled a sweet Coco in my arms as he wore them. 
Then I blinked.
Last night Houston wore those same snuggly jammies to bed.
Tonight that tiny Coco will bound through Grandma's door as quickly as his 4 year old body can carry him.
Then I blinked. 
Last night Houston wore those same snuggly jammies to bed.
Tonight that tiny Coco will bound through Grandma's door as quickly as his 4 year old body can carry him.
Playing catch up with Houston
I'm attempting to make up for over 5 months worth of pictures in one post. It won't happen. But here are the first couple of weeks, and one to show the difference.
Miracle 1: Baby Houston was born May 05, 2010, Cinco de Mayo and Great-grandpa Fredrickson's birthday.
After nearly a decade and a half of being told by doctors, experts in their respective fields, telling me: "Your body won't be able to support a baby" or "You'll never have children," more than 2 years of trying (a hiccup compared to that of others' infertility experience, really) and the agonizing loss of 4 precious souls... I held proof in my arms that doctors don't know everything and miracles do happen.
Grandma Holland held him for the first time. Beautiful. Perfect. The phlebotemist pricked his tiny heel as she held him for a glucose level. It was supposed to be 40 at the lowest. Instead, 14. She rushed for the nurse, they rushed him out, I barely got to say goodbye.
Daddy followed them to the nursery and stayed with him all day. Daddy and Grandpa Holland gave him a blessing. They gave him glucose through an IV to try to get his sugar levels up. Houston kept forgetting to breathe on his own and with a decreasing temperature they contemplated incubation. At 7, when they typically kick parents out for shift change meeting, they decided to try one thing first. They brought him to my room. I held him for the second time in his short little life, skin on skin. After the fastest 30 minutes of my life, a nurse came to my room and took him back to the nursery. Miracle 2: He never stopped breathing again and his temperature went up and stayed up.
First in the left hand, then in the right, nurses were running out of places to put his IV. Friday, 3 days old: Heavenly decided (at my urging) to go to work for the day. After all, we were both well taken care of and stuck there. I'd call him if anything changed. I went to the nursery for the first morning feeding. His IV had leaked once again and they informed me they may need to put one in his precious little head. I turned to see a man in an Airmed flight suit and knew instantly my little one was in capable hands. Still, I was alone. Surrounded by hospital staff. But all alone. I glanced over my shoulder and saw the most beautiful sight, my mom. He turned him this way and that, trying to get a better angle with which to place the IV into his tiny vein. Houston wailed and cried. The flight nurse finished with the IV and secured it with tape. He picked him up, I thought to hand him to me; instead he held him to his chest, patted his back and kissed his tiny forehead, "Let Grandpa love you better," he said. I'm sure this was done more for his own benefit than for Houston's.
After 6 days in the intermediate nursery, the ankle monitor was off, we were going home. Three of us. Finally.
Home at last!! Babies are like kittens, it takes them a few weeks before their eyes really stay open.
He fit sideways in the basinette. Sideways! So tiny.
Here's the "newborn" onesie his Aunt Karen bought for him. As you can see it's a little loose. I miss those scrawny little legs. And check out that binky!!
He finally fit into it at 3 months. And just last Sunday, he wore it again. He's 8 months old now and squeazable, chubby legs have replaced those loose, elephant-skinned, scrawny ones.
This still leaves me 5 months behind. Be patient, I'll get there. Someday.
Miracle 1: Baby Houston was born May 05, 2010, Cinco de Mayo and Great-grandpa Fredrickson's birthday.
After nearly a decade and a half of being told by doctors, experts in their respective fields, telling me: "Your body won't be able to support a baby" or "You'll never have children," more than 2 years of trying (a hiccup compared to that of others' infertility experience, really) and the agonizing loss of 4 precious souls... I held proof in my arms that doctors don't know everything and miracles do happen.
Grandma Holland held him for the first time. Beautiful. Perfect. The phlebotemist pricked his tiny heel as she held him for a glucose level. It was supposed to be 40 at the lowest. Instead, 14. She rushed for the nurse, they rushed him out, I barely got to say goodbye.
Daddy followed them to the nursery and stayed with him all day. Daddy and Grandpa Holland gave him a blessing. They gave him glucose through an IV to try to get his sugar levels up. Houston kept forgetting to breathe on his own and with a decreasing temperature they contemplated incubation. At 7, when they typically kick parents out for shift change meeting, they decided to try one thing first. They brought him to my room. I held him for the second time in his short little life, skin on skin. After the fastest 30 minutes of my life, a nurse came to my room and took him back to the nursery. Miracle 2: He never stopped breathing again and his temperature went up and stayed up.
First in the left hand, then in the right, nurses were running out of places to put his IV. Friday, 3 days old: Heavenly decided (at my urging) to go to work for the day. After all, we were both well taken care of and stuck there. I'd call him if anything changed. I went to the nursery for the first morning feeding. His IV had leaked once again and they informed me they may need to put one in his precious little head. I turned to see a man in an Airmed flight suit and knew instantly my little one was in capable hands. Still, I was alone. Surrounded by hospital staff. But all alone. I glanced over my shoulder and saw the most beautiful sight, my mom. He turned him this way and that, trying to get a better angle with which to place the IV into his tiny vein. Houston wailed and cried. The flight nurse finished with the IV and secured it with tape. He picked him up, I thought to hand him to me; instead he held him to his chest, patted his back and kissed his tiny forehead, "Let Grandpa love you better," he said. I'm sure this was done more for his own benefit than for Houston's.
After 6 days in the intermediate nursery, the ankle monitor was off, we were going home. Three of us. Finally.
Home at last!! Babies are like kittens, it takes them a few weeks before their eyes really stay open.
He fit sideways in the basinette. Sideways! So tiny.
Here's the "newborn" onesie his Aunt Karen bought for him. As you can see it's a little loose. I miss those scrawny little legs. And check out that binky!!
He finally fit into it at 3 months. And just last Sunday, he wore it again. He's 8 months old now and squeazable, chubby legs have replaced those loose, elephant-skinned, scrawny ones.
This still leaves me 5 months behind. Be patient, I'll get there. Someday.
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